Women In Transition...Where Change Begins

Women In Transition...Where Change Begins
A Seminar On Womenhood

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

I'm Moving Forward

By Patricia McKinney 

In order to move forward in life , you have to make some tough decisions, and separate your emotions from what is fact.  I had to cut off unhealthy relationships so I could move forward, and have a peace of mind. I also had to free myself from the negative opinions of others that are toxic to the soul. When you have a peace of mind, you can see and think more clearly.  There's nothing like being free of constant worry, frustration, and stress. To have peace is liberating, and you'll do everything in your power to keep it, especially if you've broken free from unhealthy relationships loaded with baggage.  I've discovered that it's mentally and emotionally draining to hold onto unhealthy relationships that attempt to keep you in guilt mode, or make you feel that you're not capable, or worthy enough to have or become the best at what you do. It's like an internally pull in your soul that keeps you weighed down, preoccupied with negativity. They're a hindrance to your well being, and it can be compared to carrying someone else's weight. 

Monday, August 31, 2015

Friends

By Patricia McKinney


Have you ever met someone that claimed to have a lot of friends? They'd speak highly about those that they've known for years, and from an outsiders perspective,  they appear to be a bonded together in love and get along quite lovely without any problems. They're always going out to lunch, brunch, or dinner, they talk on the phone for hours on end, take pictures together, hit each up other up on Facebook,  or come together to reminisce on the past.  To a person that doesn't know any better, or have an understanding about the facts of life would think that someone with "a lot of friends" is just a social butterfly spreading their wings.

As I matured, I realized that realistically, there's no such thing as having a lot of friends. The majority of the time, people misinterpret what friendship really means.  They've butchered the word "friendship" to death, just like they destroyed the word "love". It's important to know  it's meaning, that way you can identify who really fits the bill, and who falls in the category of an acquaintance or associate, and you won't  find yourself disappointed when your "buddy" doesn't live up the expectation of what a friend really is.

To be a friend has requirements, and not everyone that knows your name, smiles in your face, or hung out with you in the past or present is worthy of being on your "list of friends".  A friendship requires loyalty, respect, trustworthiness, honesty, and dependability.  It means to have respect for one's opinion whether you agree with it or not, or be able to agree to disagree.  To respect each others space, decisions, and most definitely each others spouse! To be honest and tell the truth for the betterment of the other person, even if it hurts, to help save their soul, or  snatch them from the flames of stupidity or to keep them from making an irrational decision.   It means to be loyal without revealing things about them to other people, to help protect their interest, to help them when they need you, or to just do something special because you love them, to be a listening ear, a confidant. When you have a clearer picture of what a "friend" is, I'm sure you'll see that you probably have the wrong people on the list.

I found that people that feel the need to have a "Posse" of friends usually compromise to keep them, and are always influenced by them in one way or another, because they have an inner lack or low self esteem that requires the approval of others. They'll even tolerate levels of disrespect, jealousy, inconsiderate behavior, and neglect from the other party, just to have their company.  Now this is understandable if you're still in high school, or even as a young adult because you're still learning, but as you mature you tend to outgrow many of the people that you hung out with, and some that you've known in the past, and if not, then that's usually a sign that you're stuck in several area's of life (mentally, emotionally, even spiritually). Even life itself has a steady flow, and it shifts in different directions with time and experience, which means you don't stay in the same place or around the same setting of people forever unless they were placed in your life by God. (example: a spouse, children,  or a life long friendship which is usually not many).

Some people come into our lives for a purpose and aren't meant to stay forever.  Some come to teach us lessons, to help push us to another dimension mentally, naturally, or spiritually, while some might be placed in our lives 'til death do us part.  Unfortunately people make the mistake of trying to make a temporal relationship permanent, or classify associates and acquaintance's with friends.

Friday, August 28, 2015

Know Your Enemy

By Patricia McKinney 


Spending valuable time seeking revenge takes away from your own quality of life, and it gives your enemy power over you, because they're able to push your emotional buttons and pull you like a puppet on a string. 

Have you ever thought to stop and evaluate what your enemy was actually doing and why they were doing it?  Could it be because they're filled with inner hatred, or they want you to stoop to their level because of what you have, or the fact that you've surpassed them in area's of their life so they want to cause distractions to hinder you from moving forward? Are they pushing buttons to see what's actually in you so they can ruin your reputation? Sometimes they want to prove that you are just as evil as they are and seek to get a reaction from you so they can say that you're not worth two cent!

Sometimes it's best for you to take your hands off of certain situations all together before you find that you've gotten yourself in way too deep.  There's millions of people incarcerated that wished they could turn back the hands of time, and now their "would have, should have's, and could have's" don't mean a thing. 

I've learned from experience that if you take time to seek God for his helping hand in a bad situation that he will give you the strength to keep you from getting yourself in trouble, and hold you back from making a mess.  He'll give you peace and power over your enemies, while he'll cause them to reap what they've sown in time, then you can continue to move on with your life while operating out of maturity and love instead of evil.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Procrastination

Women In Transition 

Our comfort levels can be misleading at times, causing us to believe that we can always put things off until later, that things are not as bad as they seem. We'll even have the question in our minds, "What's the worst that can happen?," as we shrug our shoulders in careless ease.  Until a storm comes,  salvation passes by, the situation gets worse, abuse turns deadly, someone else gets the job that we were "thinking" about applying for, or someone not only comes up with the invention that we were "thinking about", but they get it patented, and start making money from it,  while we were sitting at home, putting it off until "tomorrow". I've come to the conclusion that many people procrastinate because they're comfortable, and just because they don't see the outcome of a thing, or view it realistically, they'll continue to put things off, miss opportunities, and never see anything more than what they're familiar with. They can't fathom any thing beyond their usual routine, people that they already know, or the usual predicted outcome. 

Why are you putting off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Remember

By Karen Ricketts

Remember when grown ups were respecte
And the older generation revered and protected

When strangers acted like friends
Lending a helping hand every now and then

Remember when it was safe for children
Their innocence guarded by those who cared for them

When you thought your job was secure
A pink slip you never imagined at your door

Remember when Faith and Hope abound
In God whose protection was all around

When Jesus was welcomed in our lives
And not a controversy for public strife

Remember the Good News of the Gospel in Christ
Being in Him is the only way to survive

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Tap Into Who You Are In God



"When you never truly tap into who you are in God, its easy to become a counterfeit, but its not until you allow Him to cleanse you and place His glory upon your life then you, as well as others will be able to distinguish the counterfeit from authenticity. When you're authentic you don't have to try to duplicate someone that you wish to become, it'll just flow. You wont have to pretend that you're happy, and live a successful life just to prove to others that you are a somebody. 
When people look at you, they have to be able to identify that God is within you. Your walk has match who you are; you cannot contradict yourself. God is always evolving, as we shall also evolve, but continuing to do what you've done in the past is also a sign of being fraudulent. There has to be evidence of newness in your life. You cant continue to operate from the past, and live the remainder of your life off of your glory days. There needs to be some sort of sign that you're moving forward."- Patricia McKinney 

Monday, August 24, 2015

A New York Minute

By Keesah Pelzer


Have you noticed how fast the time seems to be going? We wake up, do whatever it is that needs to be done, and then we're right back in the bed again all in a matter of what seems to be a few hours. Its like we're constantly trying to catch up with time, and trying our hardest to meet the deadline for the end of the day. A week turns into a month, and a month turns into a year, and before you know it, we're another year older. The days when we used to get away with things are far gone, and how we used to prolong and put things off for later, have now become a state of emergency. 


I can recall when I was younger, I used to say, "when I get older, I'll settle down, and give my life to the Lord", but it wasn't until I had a dream a few years ago, that I had left God in my younger years, and tried to come back to where I was (at an older age) thinking that I was going to get right back into the swing of things and pick up where I left off, and needless to say, it was too late for me. Things changed just that fast. That dream that I had was crystal clear, because most of the time (and this totally applies to me) we think that we have time to play, or room to wiggle. We have this "it can be done later" mentality, when now is really the time to do it, there might not ever be a later.


Not only do we have to keep up with the time, we also have to keep up with the era that we're living in. We have to understand the times that we're in, and how the world and everything of it and in it are changing right before our very eyes. The laws, the morals, the climate, our mindsets, and even the hearts of others has changed as well. Everything is going by so fast, that if we're not in tune with God, we'll miss what he's doing just-like-that. My mom always tells me "we're now living in the days where we cannot afford to take our time to do anything", and she's right! If the saying "time is of the essence" never held as much meaning before, it sure does now.  


God is forever evolving, and things are moving as fast as a New York minute. We all get the same twenty four hours in a day to keep up, and to keep up, means to keep going in God. There's a proverb that says, "Time and tide wait for no man", or in simpler terms, if you don't make use of a favorable opportunity, you may never get the same chance again. The clock will never stop for us, so how you chose to spend your time is really up to you.

Friday, August 21, 2015

The Good In You



"Are you living beneath who you are because of what you believe? Are you a by-product of someone elses words that laid the foundation at the core of your belief system, steering you in the wrong direction?  I know firsthand that you can in fact undo what you've learned through a power that's Greater than words, the power of God, and the power of prayer.  You can learn something new, and go against the grain by telling yourself something different.  You are what you eat, whatever you take in becomes a part of you. So be cautious when giving ear to words from others that plant self doubt and fear.  You can also surround yourself with those that will build you up, and push you to your potential. You can take a risk yourself, and discover the good in you that you've never tapped into.  You can plant new seeds, and water the garden of your soul with good."- Patricia McKinney 

Thursday, August 20, 2015

A Simple Word Of Wisdom



"When you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, it's easy to reason away all common sense and make rash decisions that will cost you later down the line. Especially if that rock or hard place presents discomfort, or you've allowed your emotions to take over the situation in so much that you'll try to put together pieces to a puzzle that just don't fit. It's important in this life to have a teachable spirit, and learn to listen to those that God has placed in our lives that are presented as a voice of reason. Sometimes God can give you a simple word of wisdom from a total stranger, and we'll know when it's right, because it will also make logical sense, and bring peace within, causing you too look at things from a clear perspective, and not your emotions.  They'll tell you to slow down, and pace yourself even if it means that you have to face life's difficulties. I believe it's best that way, so you don't find yourself pulling out your hair later."- Angela Cox

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Operating Out Of Maturity

By Patricia Mckinney


Spending valuable time seeking revenge takes away from your own quality of life, and it gives your enemy power over you, because they're able to push your emotional buttons and pull you like a puppet on a string. Have you ever thought to stop and evaluate what your enemy was actually doing and why they were doing it?  Could it be because they're filled with inner hatred, or they want you to stoop to their level because of what you have, or the fact that you've surpassed them in area's of their life so they want to cause distractions to hinder you from moving forward? Are they pushing buttons to see what's actually in you so they can ruin your reputation? 

Sometimes they want to prove that you are just as evil as they are and seek to get a reaction from you so they can say that you're not worth two cent! Sometimes it's best for you to take your hands off of certain situations all together before you find that you've gotten yourself in way too deep.  There's millions of people incarcerated that wished they could turn back the hands of time, and now their "would have, should have's, and could have's" don't mean a thing. 

I've learned from experience that if you take time to seek God for his helping hand in a bad situation that he will give you the strength to keep you from getting yourself in trouble, and hold you back from making a mess.  He'll give you peace and power over your enemies, while he'll cause them to reap what they've sown in time, then you can continue to move on with your life while operating out of maturity.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Things Don't Happen Over Night

Women In Transition 


"Although things don't happen overnight at times, God has a perfect timing when he will open doors if you acknowledge him, desire a relationship with him, and seek to please him. So whatever you go through, keep striving to move forward, to do better, to be different, because if God is in the equation, you can't go wrong, and your hardships will be lessons learned. Life wasn't designed to be easy all of the time, but the good thing is, you won't stay there forever. With God, things will eventually turn around for the better and you will see the light of day. So think before you throw in the towel, because it just might be that things are being deferred because God has another plan in store for you. It can also mean that things need restructuring to provide you with longevity. Longevity is usually stemmed from time invested and cannot be compared to an overnight sensation that doesn't last long. Anything worth having is cultivated over time, and doesn't happen overnight. If it does, watch out! You can bet your bottom dollar it won't be around for long."

Monday, August 17, 2015

Scared Of Flying



"Most of our wings have been clipped for so long that the thought of us flying on our own can be quite scary or even seemingly impossible. Think about a baby taking it's first steps. The child isn't sure if he or she is going to fall, so it looks for something or someone to catch them just in case they lose their balance, but in our case, the one that's going to catch us is God. Don't be afraid of flying, and don't be scared of change, because evolving into newness is an awesome feeling, even if you don't fully understand it. Yes, there will be set backs, and at times you might even feel that you're not capable of succeeding, but with God all things are possible!"- Keesah Pelzer 

Friday, August 14, 2015

The Potters Wheel




"Wounds and defects can sometimes go so deep and be so traumatic that you'd rather forget it and move on. But it's always going to be there either festering or laying dormant. One thing I do know is that Jesus came for the broken vessels, the sick, the broken hearted and the wounded. His desire is to heal us from everything that was done wrong to us and from every wrong that we did to ourselves and to others. He's the Potter, but first we have to get on the Potter's wheel and allow Him to heal and fix us up."- Karen Ricketts

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Nothing But The Truth

By Patricia McKinney 


We all know that the truth is not always pretty, in fact it can be hurtful at times. But it's like a good dose of Castor Oil. Though the taste is unpleasant, and it's hard to swallow, it's good for your health.

I've always been a person that's "real" and honest when I'm called upon to give my opinion, or provide advice. My duty as a Counselor, Life Coach, Mentor, and Pastor requires this type of ethic and integrity. If you're looking for a sugary, candy coated, glazed over answer to your question, nine times out of ten, you're not going to find it here. I feel that the truth spoken gracefully, with wisdom, and love (even tough love at times) is like that good dose of castor oil, that's good for you, no matter how you slice it. It's especially important, when dealing with the people you love and care about, for example your children, a spouse, a friend, or someone in need of help. You'd rather not see them make mistakes that can be avoided.

I also appreciate the truth when it's presented to me, or I'm in need of help and advice from others. We don't always have all the answers. I believe as long as you live, you'll always be learning (if you're opened to it).

Unfortunately, many people don't share the same belief. To be a person that's real and truthful, that tries to be honest about important matters the majority of the time, comes a dime a dozen.

I've come to the conclusion that we live in a world of people that live their lives by covering up the truth or living a lie. They'll lie to the themselves or live in denial about their present situation, they'll pretend to be an Ivy League Scholar, they'll lie under oath, with their hand smack-dab in the middle of the Bible, even when their out on a date, or to their spouse. They'll lie on the job to avoid termination, and have someone else take the rap for something they've done. They'll cover up deep dark family secrets. Some will even portray an image of wealth and rather be seen driving a "2016" Limited Edition Mercedes Benz that they can't afford, while struggling to pay bills and keep food on the table. They'll put themselves in debt all to put up a bold front to people that might not even like them!

The effort that people put into masquerading is endless. Most of the time, people live in fear and cover up because the truth exposes their human weakness and flaws. They don't understand that by masquerading, they're living imprisoned without bars. Usually, people are taught to lie by those that set the example before them. We live in a world where men cover up their feelings and are taught not to cry or express themselves, because they'll be viewed as a wuss or a punk. 

We live in a world where Botox and Silicone are the number one rule. No one is content with what they have. They feel that a butt job, a boob job, or plastic surgery is the key to instantly change the unappealing, instead of working on or accepting the "parts we cannot change".

They live by cliches that tell you to "Fake it 'til you make it", "Never let 'em see you sweat", and so on and so forth. So they build their life on lies, until the truth is revealed and they're exposed, which is no laughing matter, especially if you're a well known icon living in the public eye.

To live life masquerading is like a full time job. You even have to work overtime to keep the lies going until the truth is revealed. So, ask yourself the question. Do I fit into this category? Have I been masquerading to appeal to people who really don't like me, or play a significant role in my life? If so, don't you think it's time to "let your hair down" and say "hey, this is the real me", a work in progress, a combination of good and bad, with weaknesses and flaws, in need of Gods help, and loving care. Stop trying to fit into everyone else's agenda. It's good for your own mental and spiritual well being to accept who you are. No one is perfect. Everyone has something that they don't like about themselves, even if they're not brave enough to admit it.

Who's said you have to live up to everyone else's standards anyway? Why spend what you can't afford to impress someone else, or be a walking boob or butt job to fit into societies, portrayal of the next top model? God created you just the way you are, to till your own ground and work it, to be the best that you can be, and maximize on that.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Rose Colored Glssses

By Karen Ricketts



There was a period of time in my life when I painted everyone with the rose colored glasses I wore. I assumed everyone was inherently good deep down inside. When I experienced betrayal, hurt or pain from friends, lovers or family, I would explain away their treatment towards me by pointing out the good times we had, or one of a few times that they did something nice for me. 

After all, I was far from perfect myself. This was a perfect set-up for tolerating abuse and someone treating you less than. Sometimes we find ourselves in friendships that span years, even decades that weren’t built on mutual love or respect, only to end up feeling betrayed by the actions of the one you thought were your friend, lover, or family member, explaining away, ignoring or just putting up with how they talk down to you, use you and take you for granted. 

Often times we tolerate this behavior because we lack confidence, suffer from low self esteem, fear being alone, or of losing a "so called" friend or family member, placing a higher value on those things rather than having relationships built on integrity and mutual respect.

In the past few years, I’ve learned that people aren’t inherently or naturally good, with good intentions towards you. I’ve learned that some people have the capacity to be transformed in their hearts, but it requires the power of God to accomplish this and work in them. Then there are others who like who they are and aren’t looking for change. That means that if that person isn’t looking for change, then change will never find them and they'll continue to demean and use you no matter how nice and accommodating you might be to them. 

Family is not exempt from this type of behavior, in fact it’s the family members closest to you that often mistreat you. I’ve been the perpetrator and the victim, experiencing both sides of the fence. Like the saying goes, hurt people will hurt other people.

I thank Christ for plucking me off the hamster wheel of ignorance and futility. Going around and around in circles attracting the same and going back and forth to a family that deep down resented me.

It’s sometimes hard to accept truth and the reality of what a situation really is, because it will requires you to deal with it and make some tough decisions. The rose colored glasses have to be removed so you can progress in life and in God. He is the revealer of truth, and though it may cause hurt or discomfort in us, Christ can give us the strength to separate and to do what needs to be done. He is also the healing balm for all our deepest wounds.