Women In Transition...Where Change Begins

Women In Transition...Where Change Begins
Changing Lives One at a Time

Friday, February 5, 2016

The Job Of A Hero

By Patricia Mckinney 

A hero is defined as a man or woman of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his/her brave deeds and noble  qualities. A person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal.

Hero's are also leaders, or those in position that set an example for someone else, leaving a trail of courage to follow and a legendary story behind for centuries to come.  A hero's job is not to dwell among the followers forever, but to set an example of strength for the follower to hold dear to their hearts, and pull that strength out when its needed. In turn, they too will be a "hero" to someone else or make an impact in the lives of others.

There were many hero's in the past that left a trail to remember them by. But one does not have to be listed among the famous that are deceased.  A hero can be a mother or father, a community activist, or advocate but possess the courage, bravery, or noble qualities of someone that now has a memorial in their name.  (example Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., etc.).

The job of a hero is to blaze a trail of heroic acts and unseen courage, and while blazing this trail,  they make an  impact by changing the hearts and minds of others, pushing them to their limit for the greater good.  A hero comes to instill bravery, so that those who look up to him/her may one day walk in the courage that they've seen, and maximize their fullest God given potential. 

For example Harriet Tubman lead people out of slavery to freedom through the underground railroad. The key here is that she led them to freedom, and she made a huge impact in their lives. But those who followed had to find their way from there, they had to discover a whole new life outside of the confines of bondage.  Sallie Ride, was the first American female astronaut, and we see because of her act a courage other women have gone to the moon. Abraham Lincoln produced the Emancipation Proclamation, to abolish slavery and was assassinated for it, but he impacted the lives of others, and he's remember until this day.  Martin Luther King Jr. was a hero during the civil rights movement.  His job was not to dwell among the people forever, but to give them the drive, fortitude, and strength to become independent. While he was with them, he stood on his beliefs, leaving an example behind.  However, the follower thought that their  job lied within the lap of the hero,  that they didn't have to do any work, and as a result, they never stepped into their potential..

As a leader, I know what its like to be a catalyst for change, and I get pleasure in seeing people step into the fullness of who they are.  Its a good feeling to know that you've set a positive example for someone else to follow, so they too can be a life changer.  But I found that many times, people that look up to other's (hero's) get things misconstrued.  They feel that the hero is supposed to carry or lead them forever. Instead of continuing the journey of discovery, and using the example of courage and strength set before them, they feel that don't have to do any work, therefore they never experience any achievements, that don't fulfill goals, or inspire anyone else.  I believe that God sets  physical examples before us because he knows that we have weakness, and at times we need someone that's gone before us to give us courage, so we can discover who we are, and who He is. ( God is) and the capability that he's placed within us.  I believe that He's put heroic ability within all of us, even if its mere courage. You never know who's watching you, that courage you have can impact the life of someone else and they may see you as a hero too.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Evil Upstairs

By Keesah Pelzer 

There are all types of everyday, ordinary people who appear to be normal on the surface, but have a closet full of skeletons. Some may dress well, some may be in wheel chairs, and others may even be old grandmothers. These people live next door, around the corner, and even upstairs from us, and we have no idea about the evil that lye's within them. 

When I was about seven years old I lived across the street from this extremely nice man named Dave. I would see him just about everyday, and he would smile and wave to my brother and I as we were walking to or from the corner store, and the bus stop during the week. He drove a decent car, he owned his own home, he had a wife, kids, and he was always so polite. Sometime later my mom and dad packed up and moved us to a different town, and I never saw him again, until the day my mom and my sister came to pick me up for our weekly girls day out. 

On this particular Saturday, We did our normal shopping, and went out to eat, but before we found our way home, we made a quick stop to the white house that occupied my view from my childhood playroom. I heard them mention that we were going to go up and see Dave, but what I was about to find out would change my entire prospective about ordinary looking people. 

When we got to the steps Dave greeted us at the door with that same warming smile that he would give us twelve years ago. He walked us all the way up the stairs to the attic, and pointed us in the direction that we were to sit in. When I looked around, to my surprise, I saw all types of candles, spirits in a bottle (liquor), and all types of objects to accompany those things. Based upon what I was seeing, and the things that he was saying, I connected the dots, and discovered that he was a witch doctor, and an elite one at that. 

I never forgot about that day, but it wasn't until God made things more clear to me, then I was able to form an understanding about the evil people do behind closed doors. And not only did I learn from the situation stated above, but I also learned that its not just the people that live near by, but the ones that we're related to, and the ones that birthed us. We have no idea about the unseen things that they have done, and it can only take the power of God to reveal to us these diabolical, and unorthodox rituals that they performed, and deliver us and set us free from them. 

So the next time you see someone and you think they're normal, just remember that you have slightest idea about the evil that goes on upstairs.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Today's Role Model

By Keesah Pelzer 

A role model is defined as someone whose behavior is imitated by others, so how is it that one can possibly be a good role model to anyone else and allow their life to be a testimony for change, if they're not living right in God? 

The other day I over heard this young woman that I know talking to one of her friends. She was talking about how she's a single mom, she has a new car, makes great money at work, and just bought a new home, and how she's an excellent example to for her children to follow. That's awesome that she's accomplished those things, but it was kind of hard for me to overlook the fact that she has two smaller daughters, but yet she posses all over social media with her middle finger up, posting video's of girls fighting, and in every picture she's either bent over showing her boobs and butt, half naked, or both. To top it off, she has a filthy mouth, and she curses like a sailor.

That's no role model, at least not a good one, because kids imitate what they see, especially when it comes to their parents. Now in no way am I passing judgment, because a few years ago that was me all the way! I was lacking morals, and taking pictures in my bra (for the world to see), I was bending over in Aeropostale sweatpants talking about "1987 was a good year" with a baby in my belly, but who told me that I was dead wrong? No one did! 

I have three girls that I'm raising on my own with the help of God, and there's no way that I would want them to look up to someone like Rihanna as their primary role model when they have the greatest example right in their own house hold that's been out there, that knows what its like to be in the streets, to be in a gang, and in bad and abusive relationships. I don't want my children to have hoodrat tendencies like I had, and nor do I want them to suffer like I did either, so who better than me to teach them by continuing to allow God to clean me up so that I can be effective in Their lives.

I didn't always see things the way I see them now, because my thoughts were submerged in my own lustful desires. It wasn't until I came into the knowledge and understanding of God, and how he wants me to conduct myself that I began to see things for what they really were since day one. He also has blessed me by placing me under the care of awesome leaders that have submitted to him in order to be qualified to show me the ropes of life. I can't stress enough how gratified I am to have two God given parents that serve as superb role models in my life. They have taught me things both naturally and spiritually that I couldn't get from my biological parents, and that's not to discredit them in any way, but they couldn't give me the jewels of life because they didn't have them their selves. 

My spiritual mom has taught me by example how to be domestic, how to carry myself like a young lady in Christ, and how to get to know the Lord for myself. My spiritual dad is such an awesome man, and if I ever get married, I would want my husband to have the love of God in him just like he does. It's awesome to see how he takes care of his family without someone forcing him to do so, and how he protects them. 

Needless to say, there aren't many effective role models out here today. It takes submission and the spirit of God to bring forth change in someone in order to make them capable of having a positive effect on someone else's life. 

Being a good role model is not about showing someone how to buy a new car, or how to stunt (show off), but it's more about helping and encouraging someone to do better through the light that shines within you.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

People Counseling Others, But Need Counseling Themselves

By Patricia McKinney

In todays world, changes that impact our way of life are happening at rapid speed, especially in the United States.  Our population is increasing, the economy is down, people with stable employment are losing their jobs due to a company downsizing or outsourcing.  We are experiencing tax increases and cut backs in funding, at both government and state levels. All of these things occur and have a major impact on our society. Some people are more effected by these changes than others because they have their own pre-existing personal or family issues.  

As a result of these life changing events, stress levels increase and may require the counseling or advise of others to help navigate through difficult times. However, every counselor whether it be a life coach, psychologist, psychiatrist, family member, next door neighbor, or best buddy may not be have the level of "expertise" to help you attain positive, long lasting results to your problems.  Most of the time people will give advise without "practicing what they preach" if they were placed in the same situation. I find that people love to give others advise to boost their own self image (or to keep a job). Some will even be dishonest by using words to "make you feel better" for the moment.  They'll do this because they have their own issues that are unresolved. Alot of people seek the help of psychiatrist and don't experience any change, but spend lots of money, with no results.

For example, our television is filled with counseling talk show host and counseling professionals that give advise, while causing a stir among family members or past lovers, just to get ratings.  But wait, it gets more pathetic than that, some people have gone on reality shows for intervention to get help but never break habits or addictions, or live for long periods of time afterward.

What does this say? The results speak for themselves, and it's not always the person with the issue thats the culprit.  It's the lack of the so-called expert, that does not have the know how to help! So please beware! Check a persons resume (or life) before you go to them seeking advise. Examine how long they've been helping others and what the results were.  Nine times out of ten, if their own life is a mess, they cannot be of any assistance to you. We must learn to help ourselves.  If you're  already dealing with major stress, don't add to your problems by taking on someone else's responsibility. Most of all, go to a quiet place and pray to God, that you may find a sense of peace during trouble times.

Monday, February 1, 2016

A Beautiful Thing

By Patricia McKinney 

By God's strength I have conquered it all and endured the scoring of shame. I had to pay a hefty price tag to get where I am today, so I could lend a helping hand to others with the right heart. Everything was not laid out for me and placed within arms reach, and nothing came free of charge.  In fact,  most of the time I had to stretch my faith when the odds were against me. Stretch when I didn't feel well, and stretch out of my own pocketbook to see it that my goals were accomplished. But in all these things I've learned that anything of high-value comes with a price. Sometimes the price can be mentally, physically, emotionally, or financially, so that in the end you will have your own testimony made of high-value, that will help someone else. 

Friday, January 29, 2016


By Patricia McKinney 

Have you ever met someone that claimed to have a lot of friends?  They'd speak highly about those that they've known for years, and from an outsiders perspective,  they appear to be a bonded together in love and get along quite lovely without any problems. They're always going out to lunch, brunch, or dinner, they talk on the phone for hours on end, take pictures together, hit each up other up on Facebook,  or come together to reminisce on the past.  To a person that doesn't know any better, or have an understanding about the facts of life would think that someone with "a lot of friends" is just a social butterfly spreading their wings.

As I matured, I realized that realistically, there's no such thing as having a lot of friends.   The majority of the time, people misinterpret what friendship really means.  They've butchered the word "friendship" to death, just like they destroyed the word "love". It's important to know  it's meaning, that way you can identify who really fits the bill, and who falls in the category of an acquaintance or associate, and you won't  find yourself disappointed when your "buddy" doesn't live up the expectation of what a friend really is.

To be a friend has requirements, and not everyone that knows your name, smiles in your face, or hung out with you in the past or present is worthy of being on your "list of friends".  A friendship requires loyalty, respect, trustworthiness, honesty, and dependability.  It means to have respect for one's opinion whether you agree with it or not, or be able to agree to disagree.  To respect each others space, decisions, and most definitely each others spouse! To be honest and tell the truth for the betterment of the other person, even if it hurts, to help save their soul, or  snatch them from the flames of stupidity or to keep them from making an irrational decision.   It means to be loyal without revealing things about them to other people, to help protect their interest, to help them when they need you, or to just do something special because you love them, to be a listening ear, a confidant. When you have a clearer picture of what a "friend" is, I'm sure you'll see that you probably have the wrong people on the list.

I found that people that feel the need to have a "Posse" of friends usually compromise to keep them, and are always influenced by them in one way or another, because they have an inner lack or low self esteem that requires the approval of others. They'll even tolerate levels of disrespect, jealousy, inconsiderate behavior, and neglect from the other party, just to have their company.  Now this is understandable if you're still in high school, or even as a young adult because you're still learning, but as you mature you tend to outgrow many of the people that you hung out with, and some that you've known in the past, and if not, then that's usually a sign that you're stuck in several area's of life (mentally, emotionally, even spiritually). Even life itself has a steady flow, and it shifts in different directions with time and experience, which means you don't stay in the same place or around the same setting of people forever unless they were placed in your life by God. (example: a spouse, children,  or a life long friendship which is usually not many).

Some people come into our lives for a purpose and aren't meant to stay forever.  Some come to teach us lessons, to help push us to another dimension mentally, naturally, or spiritually, while some might be placed in our lives 'til death do us part.  Unfortunately people make the mistake of trying to make a temporal relationship permanent, or classify associates and acquaintance's with friends.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

A Willing Vessel

By Patricia McKinney 

Many truly don't understand of counting the cost  laying down their life for others and to be used by God as a willing vessel, Its not about you getting the glory it's about God getting the glory out of your life. It's also not a beautiful journey with flowers and roses which many would have you to believe , It's a walk of opposition, rejection, disappointments, separations, commitments, patience, endurance, loneliness and perseverance which many are not willing to sacrifice. Dedicating your life to your purpose can be a trying but fulfilling, exciting and refreshing when you know your reward is eternal life. when God chooses you, he qualifies you and equips you but very few are chosen because everyone is not built for the task. So don't be so quick to say that your chosen to do a Great work because it's a desire of your heart, to be chosen comes with a price, complete submission and the most  scariest thing that you can ever image.. So in other words stay in your own lane and work what you have been giving even if it's a small thing <3

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Playing By The Rules

By Keesah Pelzer

When it comes to games like Candy Land, Monopoly, or Crazy Eights, its very seldom that people play according to the rules, so we can only imagine what's being done when it comes to real life situations. Yes there are still some people out there that come to a complete halt at a stop sign, but on the other hand, there's that other percentage that are "stop sign rollers" who keep moving, contrary to the rules of driving. 

When playing the game of life, there are indeed regulations that we must abide by. Playing by the rules has its pros and cons, especially when considering which team you're playing for. 

From the things that I'm currently experiencing, I'm finding out that going by the books doesn't guarantee that we're always going have an instant win. In fact, we're actually going to have to take a few loses before we can even taste victory. Losing things, missing out on stuff, separating from things, failing, and doors being closed, or better yet, not even opened, comes with the territory.

In the times we're living in, people don't want to play fair because their number one priority is to make it to the top, even if it means they have to step on your neck to get there, but because they're not doing the right thing, that doesn't mean that we should chime in and join forces with them, because taking short cuts and cheating will eventually catch up to you. So what if they appear to be "flossing" while we're struggling, we should always stick to the script.

No matter how you look at it, you'll never truly benefit from ignoring the guidelines. When you live according to Gods plan, purpose, and regulations, It's not always going to be easy, or fun, but what I'm learning now is that his ways are effective, as long as we play by the rules.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Teach Me Lord

By Karen Ricketts

As a child you are taught how to do things a little at a time, step built upon step until eventually over time as you grow in age and ability, you will need little to no assistance depending on the task. Take potty training for example, before a toddler can even get to the stage of using the bathroom on their own it can take months and even years of training. Starting with pull-ups and the itsy bitsy portable toilet to eventually underwear and the grown up toilet.

As a little girl, it took  me forever it seems to master tying my shoe laces. I just couldn't seem to get all the steps right, I was embarrassed by this especially since my cousins made it known that they already knew how to tie their shoelaces. Coming to Christ has made me realize the similarities between raising up a child and being raised up as a child of God and being taught by him. Just like a baby or toddler you have to be taught and trained to do things God's way. But unlike a toddler you have already been raised to think, act, talk and do things a certain way.

I realize that coming to Christ means I have to be willing to put to the side almost everything I was taught and be open minded to learning God's way. It's not an easy thing to unlearn a behavior or a way of thinking, but Christ in your life will lead you, guide you and give you the strength you need. It's a process in Christ. We get practical lessons where we're tested and challenged in the areas in our heart and life, because the Lord wants to bring change, healing and deliverance. Just like learning to tie my shoelaces, I have failed lessons, tests and challenges over and over again. But I refuse to give up and have asked the Lord to take away the shame and embarrassment I felt. Like a toddler you have to grow and be able to do certain task on your own, and so it is in Christ as well.

The saying, "Growing up is hard to do" comes to mind, but it is essential. The Bible tells me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). "Through Christ" is the key, and as I continue to learn from God, I also hope to advance in my development.

Monday, January 25, 2016

A Determined Mind

By Patricia McKinney 

I've discovered that suffering for long periods of time, whether it be from abuse, disappointments, set backs, failed ventures (of any kind) can place a shadow of doubt in front of you, that can deter you from even the slightest thought of personal success. If you're not careful, you can find yourself filled with thoughts that you're unworthy or incapable of accomplishing anything greater than what your past experience had to offer. As a result, you can allow these things to paralyze you with fear, and limit you from the unexpected blessings that may lye right before you. In times like these, you need all of the determination, and encouragement that you can get, but a the same time, it's important to do an self assessment. Sometime the answers to many of our questions lye in our own lap.

I thank God that he gave me determination, but I also take steps to ensure my drive, and keep my momentum. Becausee I didn't give up and allow past experiences and set backs to define my future, I'm finding myself in ballrooms, among foreign dignitaries, celebrities and athletes, meeting new people, experiencing wonderful relationships, and most of all finding fulfillment and a peace of mind. I'm taking a ride where I've never gone before. Even though everyone's life is patterned for a different journey, and no two are alike, you never know what lies ahead. Remember unexpected blessings come in different forms, and God has His own unexpected blessings for those who acknowledge him and seek His will for their life, and there's no partiality with Him.

Friday, January 22, 2016

A Sucker For Love

By Angela Cox

There's nothing like the spice that comes with a new relationship.  We love the element of surprise, the discovery of our new found love, and the thrill of the spontaneous.  This is the best way to describe a new relationship after ending one that caused much pain and grief. 

But sometimes we make the mistake of jumping into a new one without accessing what caused the previous one to fail.  It's like jumping into a pool of alcohol with open wounds, bound to be hurt all over again.  We don't take the time to re-access where we lack interpersonally, or give ourselves time to recover and learn from the first.  Usually people don't recover because they blame shift and place every fault on the other person and never look in the mirror.  News flash, that's a set-up to fall into the same trap as before.  Seeing the wrongs in other's is not enough. It's vital to see our own, because then, and only then will you see how much of an easy target you are for the next candidate, and see the flaws you need to work on yourself!

Have you ever asked yourself the question, how come people always treat me a certain way or get over on me?  If you noticed that history is repeating itself, it's not so much that the other person is at fault, you are.  I  know your asking, "how is that?" To answer your question you have to learn where your own weak point's lie and the only way to do this is by spending time with God and being single for a while.  Your behaviors with people in generally pour over into relationships with the opposite sex.  If you're a "yes man" with friends, that same "yes man" is going into that relationship.

One of my older sisters once told me with a straight face saying, "you have to set precedence with people up front or else they'll run over you."  I was also told that "after setting precedence, to stick to your guns, that way people will know not to cross the boundary line".  I didn't know then, that my sister, which was only in her twenties at the time, provided me with a key to life, that I can use now.  If I had applied it then, I could have avoided much heartache. But you live and learn.

The late rap artist, Tupac Shakur once made a song called "Do for love".  In this song he describes a person that's a "sucker for love".  I used to love that song because it spoke truth, aside from the rhythm of the music, the lyrics spoke volume. A "sucker" is what we become when we don't set precedence with people, and we continue to "get got" (used, trick, bamboozled, hoodwinked, and lead astray) in relationships, because of our "need" to be with somebody.  

This song described me from head to toe at one point in my life.  I was a "sucker" because I put all my card's on the table before getting to know who I was dealing with. Aside from giving to much too soon, I didn't realize that I was giving to a leech, that was never tired of taking,  until it was too late. Their was nothing that I wouldn't "do for love", even to the point of blatant stupidity.  When we're so called "in love" we dismiss things that are detrimental to our own well being that will effect us in the future.  We throw foresight out the window, and settle for the here and now. We get caught up in emotion, while dismissing the financial state of our "teddy bear" (man).    

A lot of people go into things with their eyes closed, like love is going to "pay the rent".  When I fell in "love",  I was as blind as a bat.  I was blind to the pool of debt that my teddy bear (man) was swimming in.  Because I was a giver, and did not know the extent his debt, and didn't to do my homework, I thought his debt wouldn't   effect me. I assumed he was a responsible person, because he seemed to be upstanding and intelligent, and had a job to take care of his previous obligations.  He never mentioned the debt he had until after we were married. I went into our marriage with a fresh credit line, almost completely spotless. I didn't realize that this "Teddy Bear"  man was making plans off of my good credit. 

He began to maximize on the "bacon" that I was bringing home  and made excuses as to why he couldn't contribute or give as much. His reason was he had other bills, (debt that he accrued before I knew he  existed).  He also requested that we take out loans (from my credit) to go toward the maintenance of our home  (that I purchased with my downpayment and credit line).  I lived and most definitely learned. I know some reading this would say, "Yes, you were a sucker", and yes I was.  But this letter is not written for me because I no longer live in this place in my life. It's written to help some "old fools", women/or even men that think because a someone is smooching up them, that they won't take everything you've got. 

"Getting got" (being taken advantage of ) does not always come in the form of money.  A man or women could be a dream killer, by keeping you captive because of his/her own insecurities, or a man can make you a baby machine, so now no one else will want used goods. Better yet, someone could be using you as a place to lay their head, pay their bills, or live the lavish life off of your back breaking work.  The bottom line here is to put God first, spend some time being single, look in the mirror so you can recognize where your weak points are, and ask for God's help to make you strong, so that you will stop being on the receiving end of the moocher or blood sucking leeches that never get tired of sucking life, money, and happiness from you.  

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Seasons Change

By Keesah Pelzer 

Much like the seasons that change with the crazy weather we've been experiencing, so do the seasons in our lives. There's a time for rain, a time for sleet, hail, snow, and a time for the heat from the sun, but just as we sometimes see the negativity in the downpour of the rain (weather-wise), we also get upset, and discouraged when clouds start rolling in during the peeks of sun when life seems to be going smoothly.

I was in the kitchen this morning when my daughter said to me, while looking out the window, "Mommy, I'm tired of the winter!" and I jokingly replied to her without even thinking, "Sometimes we have to go through things that we don't want to go through just to get the next season in our lives." And when I gave what I said to her some thought, I could have totally used that for myself, because its true. We ALL have rough patches that we have to stand strong in. It could be our current living situations, getting over something or someone that hurt us, or even facing our fears, but it can be done all with the help of God.

Out of the many storms in my life, looking back, I cant really complain, because some how, some way, in the midst of that, God has brought me out and made me stronger, and I now value and appreciate the struggle, even my current ones. How can we possibly be thankful for the new, and promising times in our lives, if first we haven't experienced the tough, and dry times? And vise versa, how can you be thankful for the rain, if you haven't been scorched by the sun. When God brings us through hard circumstances in our lives, its to bring us closer to him, to make us stronger and more appreciative of what we have, and what's soon to come. When its all said and done, we have to be mindful that if nothing else in life is guaranteed, the seasons will indeed change, and although it seems like we're trapped in the coldness of the rain, and winters storms, we have to remain patient and wait on the Lord, because the warmth of spring is just around the corner if we keep pressing forward.

It may take us years to reach another season, but if we do what we're told, God will look out for us, and see to it that we have everything we need, even in a drought.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Blessings & Eternal Wealth

By Patricia McKinney 

Blessings come in many forms, but who really pays attention to the things that money can't buy? Though material wealth can make life easier, and can be given from the hand of God as a reward to enjoy on earth, he also gives us things that are not seen with the naked eye. 
Like a peace of mind in times of trouble and on life's rocky road, and laughter for the soul.  He gives us the ability to move about and use our limbs without limitations, and the wealth of good health.  He provides protection from harm, and escape from danger.  He'll bless us with love from family or those dear to us, and favor from strangers right when we need it.  He can use something as simple as nature to remind us of his creation or a new born child. He can even cause us to triumph over our enemies and rise above those that have hurt us, or brought trouble in our path, causing us to love and forgive. He doesn't show partiality, and those that seek him with a genuine heart will experience His love and internal blessings, those things that we need to keep us going.
These are just a few things that money can't buy, that cause us to be rich within, and there's nothing like wealth from God for the  heart, soul, and mind.  
Remember, God is the only one that gives the gifts that money cannot buy, and with him there's no limitation.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Blood Isn't Always Thicker Than Water

By Patricia McKinney
Who say's blood is thicker than water? This may be a fact scientifically, but when it comes to family or people we've known long-term that we treat as family, this is not always a true statement.  Have you ever had a friend that stuck closer than a brother? The two of you were inseparable.  During your time of hardship they provided their natural or moral support when you needed it the most.  They may have even opened their home to you and provided you with a place to lay your head during a time of trouble. Every now and then, and angel will come our way in the form of a person that will be the glue to hold us together and keep us going.  They'll do the unthinkable that's never been seen before among our own people.
Many people grow up with the expectation or teaching that family is the most trusted source, and the only ones to confide in during a time of crisis. Being raised with this concept, can leave you opened to wounds that are more severe than wounds inflicted by a stranger.  Sometime we grow up with false expectations and a false sense of security.  We as human beings make the mistake of trusting people simply because we know them or they're related to us.  We tend to overlook flaws with the mindset that their behavior won't effect us.  We take a passive stance and tell ourselves that "they would never do that to me" even if they did rob a bank, somehow during desperate times they'll overlook my pocketbook and go on to the next candidate.  

Many family members have tolerated behavior that would normally land a stranger in front of a  judge in a court of law, or behind bars.   Some even put their lives on hold, jeopardized marriages, put their children in harms way, emptied out their pocketbooks, and come away from family like wounded soldiers, disrespected, dishonored and disregarded.   There have been many cases where crimes have been committed by family members.  A child's first inflicted wounds can be cause by those right in their own camp, their own family. Most rapes, molestation and forms abuse, and even more heinous acts against children are committed by those in the home, or by someone close to the family deemed to be a "trustworthy" source. Even though all people are not the same. We should dwell with people according to wisdom and use good judgement when making decisions, even if it is our own family.  Put our emotions to the side and look at things for what they really are. Although this may not apply to all people, there are many that realize blood is not always thicker than water, and they can separate fact from fiction when dealing with people.

Monday, January 18, 2016

A New York Minute

By Keesah Pelzer 

Have you noticed how fast the time seems to be going? We wake up, do whatever it is that needs to be done, and then we're right back in the bed again all in a matter of what seems to be a few hours. Its like we're constantly trying to catch up with time, and trying our hardest to meet the deadline for the end of the day. A week turns into a month, and a month turns into a year, and before you know it, we're another year older. The days when we used to get away with things are far gone, and how we used to prolong and put things off for later, have now become a state of emergency. 

I can recall when I was younger, I used to say, "when I get older, I'll settle down, and give my life to the Lord", but it wasn't until I had a dream a few years ago, that I had left God in my younger years, and tried to come back to where I was (at an older age) thinking that I was going to get right back into the swing of things and pick up where I left off, and needless to say, it was too late for me. Things changed just that fast. That dream that I had was crystal clear, because most of the time (and this totally applies to me) we think that we have time to play, or room to wiggle. We have this "it can be done later" mentality, when now is really the time to do it, there might not ever be a later.

Not only do we have to keep up with the time, we also have to keep up with the era that we're living in. We have to understand the times that we're in, and how the world and everything of it and in it are changing right before our very eyes. The laws, the morals, the climate, our mindsets, and even the hearts of others has changed as well. Everything is going by so fast, that if we're not in tune with God, we'll miss what he's doing just-like-that. My mom always tells me "we're now living in the days where we cannot afford to take our time to do anything", and she's right! If the saying "time is of the essence" never held as much meaning before, it sure does now.  

God is forever evolving, and things are moving as fast as a New York minute. We all get the same twenty four hours in a day to keep up, and to keep up, means to keep going in God. There's a proverb that says, "Time and tide wait for no man", or in simpler terms, if you don't make use of a favorable opportunity, you may never get the same chance again. The clock will never stop for us, so how we chose to spend our time will in fact determine our outcome.