Women In Transition...Where Change Begins

Women In Transition...Where Change Begins
A Seminar On Womenhood

Monday, October 5, 2015

Be You

By Keesah Pelzer 

If you look around today, all you see is the same thing. The same clothes, the same shoes, and the same hair. The same thoughts, the same behavior and actions, and even the same consequences. The problem is, no one knows who they really are, so it seems easier to take on someone else's character, instead of discovering who we are as a person. We all see someone that's different or doing something differently, and we can receive inspiration from that, but to completely "copy and paste" someone else's trademark (so to speak), is beyond what they would call "swagger jacking".

In most cases we feel who we are as a person is not enough, so we take on this alter ego, in order to even out our inadequacies. Rarely do you find someone that's bold enough to let their uniqueness shine through, and not try to ride someone else's wave. We tend to shy away from displaying our true flavor, so we'll hold back on being creative, and diverse, all because we're not sure how its going to come out, or if others will respect it. We're scared that we'll be rejected and labeled as a "weirdo" or a "freak", or even for someone to tell us that they don't like our ideas.

Finding who you really are is anything but easy, because in all actuality, we're not the ones that's doing the uncovering. We have to allow God to strip us from the old, so He can reveal what's been hidden on the inside of us. In simpler terms, its kind of like a needle in the hay stack. The hay, being all the things we need to be purged of, which is surrounding the needle, who we really are (possessing the potential to be sharper).

I have yet to find myself completely, and to be quite honest, I have a long way to go in order to tap into what  has been placed on the inside of me, but I have a better understanding that it doesn't come by picking up another major in school, or wearing designer clothes, because when all of those things are stripped from us, we still remain unidentified. Finding who you are comes from being refined, and purified by God, and to do away with everything that we have created ourselves to be. How else will you be able to be you?

Friday, October 2, 2015

The Enemy With Thw Microscope

By Angela Cox

When I was growing up, I used to hear my aunt quote her favorite line that goes, "Well, I guess you just have to take the bitter with the sweet". She'd usually say this when there were disappointments that occurred, or if there was some kind of tragedy that struck our family.  But as I got older I realized that this short line of hers carried a broader meaning than what my young mind could comprehend. I really didn't grasp what she was saying until her words begin to unfold in my life, and my own experiences slapped me dead in the face.

In a nutshell, she was saying (in her own country way) that life "ain't no bowl of cherries", that money don't grow on tree's, that sometimes the wicked and evil live long lives, prolonging their days just to hang around and get on everyone's nerve and too wreak havoc in the lives of the innocent.  She was saying that things will not always go your way, that sometimes you might fail a few times before you succeed, and most of all, everyone is not going to like you. You will have enemies. (Just to name a few things). But let's talk about the enemies for a moment.

Now I'm not just talking about your average fly by night enemies that hate on you because they see you rocking the latest, or they can't stand you because you look better than them. But I'm referring to those that had the opportunity to be close enough to see you through a microscopic view. (up close and personal) Those that were able to spend time with you and know your likes, dislikes and weaknesses. It can be someone that you're sleeping with (or did in the past, or had intimate and emotional attachments too (such as an ex, spouse, or other), even those that grew up in your own household. I'm referring to those that were close enough to study your behavior, and know what tickles your fancy and how to pull your strings. These are the ones that carry the microscope with a birds eye view focusing on you. As creepy as this sounds, its true. But are you ready for this? Are you? They can teach you a thing or two about you. Sometimes both good and bad.

Now I know some things are deemed as a " hard pill to swallow" and in our minds there's no way on earth that we'd ever accept one word coming from a smooth talking enemy (liar, cheater, misfit, low down dirty shame, backbiting, conniving blood sucking leech etc., etc.)

But the fact of the matter is, they're not an enemy for nothing, they watch for a reason. You're either under their microscope because they want what you have and they'd love to see you lose it, or there's something that you've done to them to help them turn against you. I once had an enemy that had the audacity to tell me "Do you know why I got over on you (used you)?" Because you tolerated too much, you were too weak, passive, clingy, and desperate. Then he said I think your gorgeous, but I don't like the fact that you have so much to offer but to me you take it for granted, you're lazy. Of course I didn't want to hear anything negative about myself, especially coming from an enemy, but after examining what was said and lining it up with my character at that time, that joker was actually right! (even though I wouldn't dare admit it to him, and would rather go to my grave with it). In my mind, I still had to face the facts and work to change that (with Gods help of course), because anything you've done for years is a part of you, and bad habits can be hard to break.   My enemy also told me that you can learn things from people that you don't like. (but it's all a matter of being mature enough to handle the truth).

Though enemies are a part of the "bitter" side of life among other things, they come to make us  mentally sharp and wise, and they help us become stronger emotionally and spiritually (by keeping us  prayerful and restrained from retaliating to the point where we do something that we'll regret). They keep us on our toes so that we not only learn to take precautions when dealing with people, but to learn about ourselves so history doesn't repeat itself and we whined up making the same mistakes, or worse.

Even God can use our enemies as a tool for our growth.  They're like stepping stones that lift us on a higher plateau, by making us wiser, sharper, and stronger. God can also set you on a pedestal and bless you openly while bringing your enemies to shame, if you aim is to do what's right in his eyes and keep the peace with others.  

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Just Wait

By Lurenna Hutchings

Why is things not happening for me? Why does it look like everyone is getting blessed but me? Why do I always have to wait for everything? That was me. Whining and complaining because things was not coming to me as easily as it appeared for everybody else. I wanted my promises right now too! I felt like I was entitled to success because I had achieved so many accolades. But that's not the way God elevates you. The only way up is down. When you remain humble before the Lord, and God see that He can trust you, and you remain faithful to what He has called you to do, while taking no glory for yourself, THEN you will be promoted. So if you feel like you are getting the short end of the stick, like you are serving and no one sees, keep doing in your heart what you know to do in this season and just wait, your turn is coming!

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Pursuing Happiness

By Karen Ricketts 

Most of society see's happiness as being tangible, something you can hold, touch or attain, including people. Some chase material possessions and the finer things in life. Happiness to them comes in owning the newest, sleekest, hippest and shinny-est version of anything put out on the market. They are in hot pursuit of anyone and anything that can contribute to their thirst. It's like a happiness pill they hunt, scratch and scrape for, but once swallowed wears off with a quickness that leaves them wanting more. 

It is so easy to get tangled up in things that seem to satisfy your craving for happiness and fulfillment. Some fixate on having and finding a partner, because not having a man or woman attached to them leads to sadness. Others seek happiness in a certain car, job, house, or anything conceived in their mind as happiness. 

The pursuit of happiness in this manner is like a dog chasing after its own tail, going around and around in circles, getting tired and dizzy but still somehow believing. Once in a blue moon he might catch it, but only momentarily as he loses grip and has to start all over again, tired and unfulfilled. That's because real happiness is intangible, related to your mental and psychological state and is not acquired and measured by your possessions, status, or who you know. 

You can start by changing your definition and view of happiness from the tangible to the intangible. The roadway or path to real happiness starts when we begin to address the internal hurt, pain, rejection, and failures we endured in life. I've been one of those women chasing practically all of the above mentioned, only to end up winded with added hurt and pain along the way. 

Getting older slowed me down, but age didn't change the intangible or physical things I held up as my idea of happiness. The Light that came to show me the error of my ways and thinking was Christ. The attainment of things will only bring you temporary gladness. Christ can lead you to that roadway to heal all your wounds. The healing process does take time, but in the mist of it you can experience real joy, contentment and satisfaction as well.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Keep Striving

"Today I'm filled with joy and gratitude from where God has brought me from and where He's brought me too.  I never knew that I'd be where I am today. I discovered that our journey in life is not clearly seen at the beginning, but one thing I do know, is that when you seek God for His plan and purpose in your life, He will make things clear, and things will begin to unfold.  It doesn't happen overnight, but with persistence, and determination, accompanied with the right heart for God and mankind. It's like walking with what I call "Blind Faith", meaning you don't see your purpose or even know the depths of it's meaning until you arrive.  While you're walking this journey in life, there's much to be learned and you gain wisdom as a result. In the process, you inspire others along the way by your strength to keep going, even in the face of adversity. I encourage you today, to keep striving, be strong and never give up. You never know who's watching you while you journey in this life, and who's being inspired by your determination, and tenacity. Your life could be an example and encouragement to other's, to show them that God has an awesome plan for their life as well, yet to be discovered."-Patricia McKinney 

Monday, September 28, 2015

Born A Fighter

"Every great leader has a story to tell of how they endured trials, and weathered storms, failures, and obstacles to ultimately triumph in the end. I know first hand what it's like to climb the ladder, only to revamp and start over again due to those that walk along side you, but leave you because their hearts are not with you. Today I can say that I'm truly grateful for all of the setbacks, fiery trials and errors, wounds, blows, and people that came in my life to provided me with the tools needed to make me into a wise woman. Though many of the tools that I've gained were birthed from fiery trials and suffering at the hands of others, they provided me with an unbreakable determination that's given me the power to keep moving forward and never give up.  I made an awesome comeback! I was born a fighter, I always was, and always will be."- Patricia McKinney 

Friday, September 25, 2015

Under Pressure

By Lurenna Hutchings 

Grapes into jam. Oranges into orange juice. Lemons into fresh lemon juice. Apples into apple sauce. What's the common thread? How can all these substances become or "transition" into another substance? Pressure! In order for us to enjoy jam, grapes have to be squeezed and smashed, in other words, they have to endure severe pressure so they can be transformed from one state into another. Well guess what? So do we! If we want to transition from our current state of being, we have to be ready to endure some severe pressure so that we can become the beautiful, secure, vibrant, fearless, fierce, woman that we was created to be! The key is we have to stand our ground. We can’t be swindled into thinking, acting, talking, doing and being what we used to. We must believe that the breaking down and the building back up is all a part of our process.
I'm a woman in transition. How long the transition will take will depend on how long it takes for me to totally surrender my life, my hopes, my dreams, and my fears to the renewing process and become totally reliant on God. One thing that I do know is if I don’t buckle under pressure, I will be all that God intended for me to be on the other side!

Thursday, September 24, 2015

A Balancing Act

By Keesah Pelzer 

Has anyone ever violated you did something out of order, and you let their unruly behavior slide because you didn't want to step on anyone's toes or cause conflict? You carried almost as if nothing even happened, allowing them to offend you yet again. Finding balance in situations like that can be a difficult task, because you have to know when to speak, and when to be quiet, when to approach and when to fall back

Lately I've been finding it extremely problematic to gain a steady balance in being blunt without acting out of character, because ever since I can remember, I've struggled with anger, and my way of expressing my frustrations were to black out and fight. If something was said to me that I didn't wholeheartedly agree with, and I felt that it was said in a way to be disrespectful, I would lash out instead of simply saying, "That's not cool!". There were rarely any in between moments, or any grey areas with me. I was either extremely nice, or overly unpleasant.

When I came into the understanding of God, it was obvious that my attitude had to be reconstructed, and I had to gain that "in between balance" that I've been lacking for years. I didn't realize that he wanted to tweak my attitude, and add restraints, and boundaries, not completely take it away. This is just my opinion, but I truly believe that God does not want us to live life allowing others to walk all over us, or try to pull the covers over our eyes while we just sit there and take it, all because we want to display our Christian like behavior. He knows how cruel, and cold hearted people in this world can be, and if he took that feature away from us, you could only imagine what we'd stand for, and from what I can remember, Jesus didn't walk around timid, and being fearful of putting people in their place. He had balance, and he walked around with authority.

My spiritual mom always told me, "Being scared to tell people 'No, I'm not doing that', or 'I don't like this', should never be an option". I've experienced it, and I see it happen all the time, People will approach you just to see how far they can go with you. but the thing is, we cant ignore the issues that need to be addressed because ultimately the problem will continue to resurface until its dealt with. Even when it comes to turning someone down when they're trying to make a pass at you, stand your ground and tell them no, because if you entertain their behavior, then they're going to take that as an invitation to come back again.

I had to learn the hard way by trying to be nice people, and not wanting to sound "catty", or stuck up, but people are bold in this day in age, and although I'm still finding my balancing act, I have a better understanding of how serious this matter can be, because if we don't stand our ground, we'll fall for anything.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

A Masterpiece

"I had to learn that God allows those closest too us to cast us away, to reject us, disrespect us, and mistreat us, causing us to feel like a puzzle piece that doesn't fit into their ideal scheme of things. It's because our purpose in life is different from theirs, and even though it doesn't feel good at first, it's for our own benefit. He doesn't want His masterpiece to be destroyed by those that don't appreciate the beauty of a masterpiece, and He wants us to discover our own worth and purpose in life that will shine like the morning sun, for all to see. Once you allow him to change the way you think, and give you a new heart. Once this happens, He will cause the very ones that cast you away, that didn't value the masterpiece to question, "who is this that appears like the dawn, as fair as the moon, as bright as the sun, and majestic as the stars in procession" (Song of Solomon). God will shine his light on you for others to see the miracle that he performed in your life, because you "the outcast" is a masterpiece in His eyes, rejected by man and accepted by Him."- Angela Cox

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

A World Of Sin

By Karen Ricketts

I was born into a world of sin
Innocent I was not knowing what was within
Gradually I came to see
That sin was growing up inside of me
Out In the world I’m flung
Doing everything under the sun

Hurt grew, pain grew, don’t forget lust and pride too
Struggling now to do what’s right
Growing tired and weary of the fight
Waiting for the moment I can exhale
But my strength was to no avail

Searched all the low places for a way out
Only digging myself deeper and deeper in dirt
Getting my palm read here and my fortune told there
But my money was their only care

Then one day He who sits in the High place
Decided to spare my life
Because He had deposited something in me that was right
He’s the door I was looking for all along
But his adversary had me in his grip stringing me along
Jesus called me in out of the rain
To a place of shelter and safety in Him and life once again.

Monday, September 21, 2015

What Are You Thinking About?

By Lurenna Hutchings

Have you ever just sat in dead silence? No TV, no music, no water running, nothing, just silence. What do you hear? What do you hear as it pertains to you? Your life currently? Are you happy? Do you have peace? Do you have joy in your life
Sometimes on my drive home from work I turn the music off and just meditate. I have recently experienced being mentally stretched through the process of “meditating on and wrestling with” truth. Mistaken beliefs that I had about myself were challenged. Unresolved issues, untreated pain, and messed up emotions that I had carried around for so long began to surface. I started to see why I was behaving the way I was and where some of those learned behaviors rooted from. At first it was over whelming to take it all in but because I began to consciously exercise my mind on what is good and what is pure, I knew I had to face these untruths so I could deal with them and move on. I finally understood that I was in the confused and miserable state of mind simply because of the way I was thinking about myself and my situation. I looked in the mirror and as tears began to fall, I affirmed that I was a beautiful person on the inside and out. I was created with a purpose and that I was not a mistake. I starred at the mirror until what I was thinking about me superseded any negative lie I had believed about myself.  My “I CANT” turned into “I CAN”.  My “I AINT” turned into “I AM”. My “I DON’T HAVE” turned into “I HAVE!”
So I ask you, what are you thinking about? We are the product of what we think! If we think we are broke, we will stay in poverty! If we think we are sick, then we will never get healed! If we think we can’t move forward, then we will never get ahead! If we think our situation will always be like this, we will never see what God has planned for us! When negative thoughts about yourself come to mind, cast them down immediately and replace them with whatever God’s word say about you. Then get up, look at yourself in the mirror and speak life over yourself until you began to believe it. 

Friday, September 18, 2015

A True Leader

"I’ve met many women in this day and time that claim they are leaders. Some have even placed themselves in a leadership role, but they’ve dismissed the "giving side", also known as self sacrifice.  The majority of them don’t know what it is to give. They’ve sadly mistaken the act of “ being seen and heard” with the true meaning of leading, and they’ve dismissed humility in exchange for notoriety.  They fail to realize that a huge part of leading involves genuine concern for others. Leadership is broad and wide.  It involves social influence, setting an example for others to follow, aiding and supporting others to accomplish a goal, giving people vision and insight, and being a catalyst for change.  Leadership is not a selfish act, but many people have misconstrued its meaning, and they believe that it means to be at the center of attention. There’s always evidence that a true leader is fulfilling their role because others will be impacted by their influence for the better. A true leader has vision that extends outside of them,  and they leave a legacy for others to follow."- Patricia McKinney 

Thursday, September 17, 2015

When Change Happens

By Karen Ricketts

Have you ever ran into someone from your past, or reconnected with them via social media or by phone and found out that in all those years they have'nt changed one bit. Some people might view this as a good thing that someone has stayed the same, but it all depends on the area in their lives that remained constant and unchanged in all those years. 

Change happens when we pass from one state of mind to the next, in how we act and even in the things we like or dislike. Do you remember when you were a child and how you disliked certain foods, even looking at it made you feel sick, but as you grew older you decided to try it, and realized that you actually liked the taste?

I remember reconnecting with someone I hung out with as a teenager and young adult. We lost contact for many years, then one day we reconnected and after ten years had passed. My first conversation with her felt like we had continued a conversation from where we left off in the past, and it was not a good feeling. Some people can even be married with children, but somehow they manage to stay the same psychologically (their mental and behavioral state) and in their emotionally reactions.

The memories of the fun times you had are just that, memories that should stay in the past. If your initial conversation with this person left you feeling like you went back in time by having the same type of discussions with no new insight, knowledge, or information about life, and you’re feeling like something’s wrong with this picture, then something is different. You’ve grown and changed and your friend hasn’t.

While there’s nothing wrong with this, because as individuals we mature and grow at different rates, but do you want to have that same type of relationship again? Will it benefit you in any way? Is reconnecting with this individual and renewing an old friendship going to help you, hinder you or drag you back five, ten, or fifteen years?

Most times you have to decline renewing an old relationship and keep moving forward. It’s nothing personal against that individual, you’ve just outgrown them, the things you use to do, and the types of conversations you use to engage in. Hooking back up with them again would yield no beneficial results in your life. It’s not the quantity of people that surround you, but the quality of the character and substance that those around you contribute to your life. 

With all that’s going wrong in the world today, we can’t relive the good ole days by reconnecting with those from our past, they’re unable to fill the void in our lives. The truth is that void can only be filled by letting Christ into your life and heart . He promised to be a true and faithful friend to us.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Irrational Decisions

By Angela Cox

When you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, it's easy to reason away all common sense and make rash decisions that will cost you later down the line. Especially if that rock or hard place presents discomfort, or you've allowed your emotions to take over the situation in so much that you'll try to put together pieces to a puzzle that just don't fit. 

Have you ever bought a vehicle that you knew you couldn't afford, or a big ticket item that was way above your financial means without having the right amount of income to maintain it? I mean the income not just to meet the car note or pay the bill on time, but the insurance, regular maintenance, and maybe a little extra set aside for emergencies? The fact that you're tired of walking, busing, taking the train, or going without, plays a huge part as to why you'd make a rash decision and jump the gun (move before you're ready) in the first place, but if you're pay check doesn't add up, eventually you'll end up losing the very thing you purchased, and make an even bigger mess than you had before. 

Even though irrational decisions like the one presented before, might cost you a good credit score, or put you in debt, there are others that can change the course of life all together, and not just affect your life, but those around you. For example: you can jump the gun to get married to the wrong person because you feel you're getting old, you're lonely or you're just driven from lust. You can jump the gun in a custody battle, or jump the gun to quit a job because your boss made you mad.  You can speak out of turn at the wrong time because emotions are so high and jeopardize an opportunity or  a good relationship.

In this life, everyone's prone to making moves too soon , but with God's help and wise counsel, some things can be avoided.  I've also learned that what seems to be the "easier road" to take is not always the right one to take, regardless to what your emotions say. Sometime you have to go through difficulty before you experience "day break".  

I recently received wise counsel from My Mentor & Spiritual Mother, and I feel so blessed because she gave me advise right at a nick of time, before I jumped the gun, and made a rash decision that would not just cost me my peace of mind, but could also jeopardize my livelihood, my job & my son's contentment.  

It's important in this life to have a teachable spirit, and learn to listen to those that God has placed in our lives that are presented as a voice of reason. Sometimes God can give you a simple word of wisdom from a total stranger, and we'll know when it's right, because it will also make logical sense, and bring peace within, causing you too look at things from a clear perspective, and not your emotions.  They'll tell you to slow down, and pace yourself even if it means that you have to face life's difficulties. I believe it's best that way, so you don't find yourself pulling out your hair later.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Follow The Lead

"I find that the reason people never evolve in life or rise above adversity is because of what they listen to, who they associate with, and what they've been trained to believe, or have adopted as truth. Ask yourself this question:  If a person is in the same position as you or in a worse predicament, can they give you advise that will motivate you to change? If they lack "the drive" for themselves, can they motivate you to do better? If they conduct themselves in a manner that doesn't demonstrate wisdom, self respect, or respect for others, would you follow their lead or take heed to their advise? Most of the time, people don't experience peace, contentment, or the fullness of life is because they don't change their surroundings or what they take heed too, and they never tap into the fullness of who they are and what God has in store for them."- Patricia McKinney