I know you're wondering, who in the world is Miss Jackson? Miss Jackson represents a type of woman that deceives herself by claiming that it's "okay" for her man to sleep around with other women while she's in a relationship with him. (Pump the brakes! Oh Please!)
Let's be candid about the situation, women were designed by nature to be emotional beings, and they tend to be more affectionate than men. Men unlike woman, express themselves differently, they are more aggressive and logical, and are not tied to their emotions or are as emotionally driven as women. For example, a man can have sex with a woman but have no emotional strings attached to her. Meaning after he's spent the night with you, and whispered in your ear and made you feel like the woman of the year, he can walk right passed you the next day like he doesn't know you, like a stranger in the night. A married man can have extra-marital affairs but will not be emotionally tied to his mistress/es even if they are in a long term relationship outside of the marriage. He's not going to treat her like he treats the wife and he will not leave his wife for the mistress because his heart is still at home. Regardless of what a woman looks like, how good she can cook, or how good the sex is, don't deceive yourself, he's not going to fall in love with you and leave what he has. On many occasions, men have divorced or broken up from a long term relationship and started with someone new, but they would creep back to their former lover because their heart is still there. It's very difficult for a woman to compete with a man's former lover if his heart is still with her. You're wasting your time and settling for less by being with him.
Many influential men especially in the entertainment and sports industry have much to contend with when it comes to the temptation that's always prevalent from the floods of beautiful women throwing themselves at them day and night. When woman see these men, all they can see is fame, the glamorous life, and dollar signs. Regardless to the fact that the man may be married or in a relationship, they could care less. They get tunnel vision, and all they see is him, and then the thrill of the chase is on. Once a women has conquered and captured her prey she'll do anything to keep him, even if it means deceiving herself and condoning infidelity in the relationship, as long as she has somebody! Many women that have affairs or relationships with influential men pretend that they "don't care" or "they understand" when their man creeps back with a former lover. All I have to say to this is "STOP LYING MISS JACKSON" you know your mad about it! You just want to keep the money flowing in, and play the trophy on the side of him because without him you don't have anything! That's right, being with him makes you feel like your someone of importance, because without him you don't feel 100% confident about yourself. Stop and be real with yourself for a brief moment, be mature about the situation and realistic. If you condone and say it's "okay, or say that "I understand" when this man is cheating, your setting yourself up for heartache, and you'll run the high risk of other types of disrespect.
Even if the both of you are cheating on each other, eventually you will lose because of your makeup and design. Your emotions can work against you. Women were created to be emotional and we can't sleep with a man for too long without becoming emotionally attached. No woman is ever really okay with a man cheating on her, even if she's says she is. Women don't think logically when they get involved with a man of influence. They set themselves up for major disrespect and embarrassment especially if they're in the public eye, and will make themselves look like fools in the long run.
Nature gives us signs to show us when seasons are changing. The leaves change color and fall away, the temperature changes from warm summer days to cool fall nights, and the days are shortened. People are just like the four seasons that come around every year. They're supposed to move according to the seasons of life, but they refuse to change with the time, and prefer to hold onto yesterday, hoping for the same results. They look for the same euphoric feeling when their name rang out on stage, and record sales were off the charts, when business was booming, and they were at liberty to shop themselves into oblivion. They desire to stay in the same youthful place of yester-year, with the same experience that brought them joy, acceptance, and a sense of well being. So they'll hold onto the same set of friends, hang out a the same place, and do the same thing. They haven't grasped the fact that nothing last forever. If life were meant to live in the same experience, than it would be quite boring, and we'd all have a one tracked mind.
Imagine someone wearing a tank top, shorts and sandles in 10 degree weather, not only would they end up sick, but everyone around them would think they've lost their mind. Common sense would tell them that summer is over, but they refuse to let it go, even if it costs them their health, and they end up on the brink of pneumonia, they're still going outside in shorts.
This is the way people think, "in delusions of grandeur", meaning they think they're greater than what they really are. Therefore, they find it hard to let go of recognition, a position, memories, and their glory days when every one chanted their name, and gave them a standing ovation. To be delusional means that you see signs things that are contrary to your own belief, but you ignore them. You tell yourself, I was able to make it happen before, so I can still make it happen now, even though twenty years has passed, your body has changed, and you're not as fast as you used to be. That's like trying to defy the laws of gravity. You know the old saying, "what goes up, must come down". People act as if they can defy the laws of gravity, and even turn back the hands of time. They fail to realize that with time, comes a new generation of people that have bigger and better ideas, as well as expectations. They're constantly evolving.
Take a close look at babies that were born in the 1980's, and compare them to those born now (2014). They're extremely advanced and alert, like old souls living in a child's body. Our new culture presents a vast difference in style, their personality, ideas, and their belief system. Even the issues they face are more intense than the 70's & 80's baby. What use to work for you and your grandmother, won't work for them. They're not shining anyone's shoes, cleaning anyone's house, and you're lucky if they take out the garbage, or do the dishes.
This new generation has the whole world at their finger tips (the internet). If there's anything they want to know or see, all they have to do is Google it! The only way to attract them or have any type of influence on this generation at all, is if you're current and can identify with their needs. If you can take their attention away from the latest video game, or the hottest fashion, even for the slightest moment, than you're doing good.
So if your an older person that's outdated, and unaware of the issues revolving around this new era, than you don't stand a chance. This new generation will surely provide you with a cue that your not making any impact if you're irrelevant. So how do you know if your season has come and gone? Here's some helpful hints:
If you find that your ratings have gone down over the airwaves, and you're not selling cd's like you used too, or the fashion industry has changed, and no ones complimenting or buying anything that you've created, if you're a jewelry store owner, and the same diamonds (or cubic zirconia's) are sitting in the same place that they were last year, and if you're a big shot, that used to have influence in the community, but you find that you can no longer move the crowd or draw an "ant" to one of your meetings, that's a sure sign that your time to shine has come and gone. Like the old blues singer BB King once sang, "the thrill is gone".(That's my point exactly).
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. Sometimes people would rather hold on to fiction and dismiss the facts. That doesn't mean your life if over, it just means it's time to pass the baton to a newer, more fast paced, innovative generation of people that are moving with the time. It means it time to give someone else your "know how", instead of hoarding it to your own hurt. That means it's time to hold onto you're dignity while you still have a chance, and save face, instead of putting yourself out there to look like a fool where you no longer fit in. It's time to save your money, or put to use where it will benefit instead of holding onto a business that's lots its popularity.
Have you ever been in a relationship where the other party you were dating would buy you all types of gifts, but when the relationship was over, everything that they purchased (in the name of love), they suddenly wanted it back? The jewelry, the phone, the car, and yes, even the house keys. Not for nothing, but that's exactly what happens when we about-face, and march right out of the presence of the Lord.
For some strange reason, we tend to think that when we turn our backs on God, that everything he blessed us with, stays with us. We want to keep the peace that He has given us, the purity, the relevance, and most importantly, the glory, but needless to say, all of those things return back to its rightful owner. When God blesses us with both spiritual, and tangible things, it's a known fact that upon leaving his presence, those things we no longer have access to, leaving us in a worse off condition than we were in when He first accepted us with open arms.
A lot of the time, we as humans cannot comprehend how the Lord does business, but its much like signing a prenuptial agreement before you inter into marriage, (but verbally), so if for any given reason we decide to up and leave, He has the right to protect His assets. In other words we leave with what we came with, which is more than likely a slue of issues, and the clothes on our backs. Rather we want to admit it or not, The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, and divorcing Him would be against our better judgment, not just because He gives us things, but because what he gives can only be attained through His Holy Spirit. You can't buy peace and joy, and you can't fake the anointing. If that was case, He wouldn't be God, because He has already warned us of what would happen if we decided to go astray.
God doesn't just hand out His glory to anyone, but when he grants us those rights and we walk away from Him knowing the consequences, he will take everything that we worked so hard to get and allow someone else to enjoy the fruit of our labor... at our own expense. So that way its an even exchange, and you're free to leave, but the glory stays.
Spending valuable time seeking revenge takes away from your own quality of life, and it gives your enemy power over you, because they're able to push your emotional buttons and pull you like a puppet on a string. Have you ever thought to stop and evaluate what your enemy was actually doing and why they were doing it? Could it be because they're filled with inner hatred, or they want you to stoop to their level because of what you have, or the fact that you've surpassed them in area's of their life so they want to cause distractions to hinder you from moving forward? Are they pushing buttons to see what's actually in you so they can ruin your reputation? Sometimes they want to prove that you are just as evil as they are and seek to get a reaction from you so they can say that you're not worth two cent!
Sometimes it's best for you to take your hands off of certain situations all together before you find that you've gotten yourself in way too deep. There's millions of people incarcerated that wished they could turn back the hands of time, and now their "would have, should have's, and could have's" don't mean a thing.
I've learned from experience that if you take time to seek God for his helping hand in a bad situation that he will give you the strength to keep you from getting yourself in trouble, and hold you back from making a mess. He'll give you peace and power over your enemies, while he'll cause them to reap what they've sown in time, then you can continue to move on with your life while operating out of maturity and love instead of evil.
Finding someone that you can genuinely relate to can be like looking for a needle in a haystack... seemingly impossible. Of course there's always the ones who like the same songs, same colors, and same foods as we do, but to come across someone who has shared the same struggles, trials, and set backs, and overcame them successfully, is what I would call a "rarity".
What I've learned through the years is that people tend to take to you more when you speak their language. Language, meaning the roads you've traveled in life, where you've been, and what you've gone through. My spiritual mom is a prime example of the type of person I'm pertaining to. She's been through a lot of things in life that many of us would have never made it out of alive, and if we did, our minds would be so far gone. She's been raped, molested, abused, on drugs and everything else that you can think of, so when she gives her testimony, she speaks to the core of one's innermost being, and people can visually see that she's a conqueror. For that reason, they are immediately drawn to her, because she speaks their language, she knows the struggles and that it takes the spirit of God to make it out.
When we find that we're not the only one's who have been faced with an elusive amount of hurt, pain and embarrassment, there's a sense of relief that we get, because there's nothing worse than being in a foreign place (a place in life that's unrecognizable) with no one there that understands you or can relate to what it is that you're going through. When you've been through the unimaginable, its kind of like speaking a different language, especially to the people who have zero experience in those areas, they can't identify, and even if they do seem to have a little bit of the lingo down pat, it's not spoken fluently.
Sometimes all it takes is for the right person to come and shed light on the things that seem to plague us, a person that has been there, done that, and seen it all. Someone who is compassionate, and has the heart of God. Someone who speaks our foreign language.
There's an elementary school saying that goes, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me". I'm not sure who invented such a saying, but the reality of this phrase is as far from the truth as the east is from the west.
The fact of the matter is, words have power, and they can steer the way we think, perceive, and comprehend our world around us. They have the power to encourage or discourage, strike up a nerve, brew anger, soothe the soul, belittle, build confidence, wound, and heal. Depending on the kind of words that's been planted into the core of our being over a period of time, will determine how they take shape, and act as a driving force in how we function in life. The more we hear things repetitiously, the more it's implanted into the mind, and it becomes easier to remember. It's like remembering words for a spelling bee and storing words into a memory bank. After constant repetition, it's easier to recall, and it can become a part of our vocabulary, which can extend into conversation.
What we've learned through constant repetition and what we've been conditioned to believe will work it's way through our daily functions, whether it be positive or negative. Words are like seeds planted in a garden. The more they're nourished, the more they grow and become rooted, stronger, and harder to break.
Have you ever met a person that was superstitious, or set in their ways? I've met people that had absurd beliefs that were passed down from generation to generation. I've also met people that were afraid to drive, or leave their home town because they've developed a belief that they were not capable, or they feared that something bad would occur before they ever tried. Why? Because of seeds planted in them, possibly someone else's fearful words, that they've adopted as their own. As a result, they convinced themselves that the words were true. They don't know and may never know that they are just as capable as any one else, until they undo their learned belief system. I've heard the saying that it's harder to undo what we've learned than it is to learn something new, but it is definitely possible, with time, effort and God.
Our minds are very power tools, that's why it's important to take in good positive nourishment in order to undo negative words that were implanted. I've found that there's so many talented, well, able bodied people in this world that have such a negative view of themselves and life because of words that were planted, that took root as their own core belief. There's so many people incarcerated physically and mentally, in abusive relationships, in dead end jobs, tolerating, compromising and living life beneath their own potential because of what they believe about themselves, stemming from a foundation words that were laid in a bed of fear, doubt, or negativity.
Are you living beneath who you are because of what you believe? Are you a by-product of someone else's words that laid the foundation at the core of your belief system, steering you in the wrong direction? As I said before, you can undo what you've learned through a power that's Greater than words, the power of God, and the power of prayer. You can learn something new, and go against the grain by telling yourself something different. You are what you eat, whatever you take in becomes a part of you. So be cautious when giving ear to words from others that plant self doubt and fear. You can also surround yourself with those that will build you up, and push you to your potential. You can take a risk yourself, and discover the good in you that you've never tapped into. You can plant new seeds, and water the garden of your soul with good.
When I was growing up, I used to hear my aunt quote her favorite line that goes, "Well, I guess you just have to take the bitter with the sweet". She'd usually say this when there were disappointments that occurred, or if there was some kind of tragedy that struck our family. But as I got older I realized that this short line of hers carried a broader meaning than what my young mind could comprehend. I really didn't grasp what she was saying until her words begin to unfold in my life, and my own experiences slapped me dead in the face.
In a nutshell, she was saying (in her own country way) that life "ain't no bowl of cherries", that money don't grow on tree's, that sometimes the wicked and evil live long lives, prolonging their days just to hang around and get on everyone's nerve and too wreak havoc in the lives of the innocent. She was saying that things will not always go your way, that sometimes you might fail a few times before you succeed, and most of all, everyone is not going to like you. You will have enemies. (Just to name a few things). But let's talk about the enemies for a moment.
Now I'm not just talking about your average fly by night enemies that hate on you because they see you rocking the latest, or they can't stand you because you look better than them. But I'm referring to those that had the opportunity to be close enough to see you through a microscopic view. (up close and personal) Those that were able to spend time with you and know your likes, dislikes and weaknesses. It can be someone that you're sleeping with (or did in the past, or had intimate and emotional attachments too (such as an ex, spouse, or other), even those that grew up in your own household. I'm referring to those that were close enough to study your behavior, and know what tickles your fancy and how to pull your strings. These are the ones that carry the microscope with a birds eye view focusing on you. As creepy as this sounds, its true. But are you ready for this? Are you? They can teach you a thing or two about you. Sometimes both good and bad.
Now I know some things are deemed as a " hard pill to swallow" and in our minds there's no way on earth that we'd ever accept one word coming from a smooth talking enemy (liar, cheater, misfit, low down dirty shame, backbiting, conniving blood sucking leech etc., etc.)
But the fact of the matter is, they're not an enemy for nothing, they watch for a reason. You're either under their microscope because they want what you have and they'd love to see you lose it, or there's something that you've done to them to help them turn against you. I once had an enemy that had the audacity to tell me "Do you know why I got over on you (used you)?" Because you tolerated too much, you were too weak, passive, clingy, and desperate. Then he said I think your gorgeous, but I don't like the fact that you have so much to offer but to me you take it for granted, you're lazy. Of course I didn't want to hear anything negative about myself, especially coming from an enemy, but after examining what was said and lining it up with my character at that time, that joker was actually right! (even though I wouldn't dare admit it to him, and would rather go to my grave with it). In my mind, I still had to face the facts and work to change that (with Gods help of course), because anything you've done for years is a part of you, and bad habits can be hard to break. My enemy also told me that you can learn things from people that you don't like. (but it's all a matter of being mature enough to handle the truth).
Though enemies are a part of the "bitter" side of life among other things, they come to make us mentally sharp and wise, and they help us become stronger emotionally and spiritually (by keeping us prayerful and restrained from retaliating to the point where we do something that we'll regret). They keep us on our toes so that we not only learn to take precautions when dealing with people, but to learn about ourselves so history doesn't repeat itself and we whined up making the same mistakes, or worse.
Even God can us our enemies as a tool for our growth. They're like stepping stones that lift us on a higher plateau, by making us wiser, sharper, and stronger. God can also set you on a pedestal and bless you openly while bringing your enemies to shame, if you aim is to do what's right in his eyes and keep the peace with others.
As individuals we all grow up believing in a myriad of things. Some of us were made to believe when we were small children, in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, only to eventually find out we were lied to. What we believe as individuals shape our everyday lives in how we think, what we give ear to and the things we take part in.
Some live by a moral code and the code of their affiliations. For example, there's a street code, (eg. no snitching) jails have their own codes, gangs have their codes, organization and even companies have codes set in place for their employees. These codes serve to control and restrict your thoughts and behavior whether good or bad. You'll even find these codes spoken or unspoken in families as well. Observation and adherence to these codes denotes your allegiance, trustworthiness and loyalty to that person or organization. These same principles also apply to the Word of God and to the body of Christ.
Believing in Christ is much more than lip service. Being a believer, a "true believer" requires everyday action in the individuals life. If you're proclaiming to be a vegetarian for example, people should see your lifestyle lined up with what you proclaim. Is it cruelty to animals, or the health benefits of a meat free diet you're defending. Whatever the case, if someone sees you eating a beef burger, they're gonna question your commitment, your integrity, and your seriousness about what you proclaim.
This is also true for those of us who profess to be believers in Christ, even going to church faithfully, but then people see us saying and doing things that go against who we are claiming loyalty to. I've been guilty of this myself too many times to count. We know that God is forgiving and merciful, but God also holds us accountable, especially when we know the truth and even so when you're in a leadership position and a position of influence.
A true believer to me, will always strive to do good in God and not just sit back and accept the status quo. When you stumble, you get back up and work your way back on track. To be a believer is an action word, where you have to work to commit yourself daily to the Lord and to do what is right in His sight. This is the hard part. Like the person claiming vegetarian and eating meat, you can't claim Christ and do everything under the sun. At some point you have to demonstrate your faith, allegiance and loyalty to Christ if He's who you're claiming, even in the small things.
Being a "believer in Christ", are not words to be taken lightly. I've experienced in my life how easy it is to be a hypocrite and believer in Jesus. His moral code, his teachings and inspired words recorded in the Bible are tough to live by. It is the complete opposite of who we are used to being, even if society considers us "good people". Our flesh and the world are not his allies. That's why it takes his Spirit and strength working through us and us putting our faith and loyalty in practice to even make it day by day.