Women In Transition...Where Change Begins

Women In Transition...Where Change Begins
Changing Lives One at a Time

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Open Your Mind

By Karen Ricketts 

Coming to Christ means you have to be willing to put to the side almost everything You were taught and be open minded to learning God's way. It's not an easy thing to unlearn a behavior or a way of thinking, but Christ in your life will lead you, guide you and give you the strength you need. 

It's a process in Christ. We get practical lessons where we're tested and challenged in the areas in our heart and life, because the Lord wants to bring change, healing and deliverance. Just like learning to tie my shoelaces, I have failed lessons, tests and challenges over and over again. But I refuse to give up and have asked the Lord to take away the shame and embarrassment I felt. Like a toddler you have to grow and be able to do certain task on your own, and so it is in Christ as well. 

The saying, "Growing up is hard to do" comes to mind, but it is essential. The Bible tells me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). "Through Christ" is the key, and as I continue to learn from God, I also hope to advance in my development.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Fix My Life

By Angela Cox

Not long ago Iyanla Vanzant made a re-appearance after disappearing for some time, with a new show called" Fix My Life".  The "title" of this show is very powerful because of its content and meaning and it's very compelling from a marketing aspect, which can draw the attention of people. Prior to viewing the show, I went in with the expectation that those participating would have life changing results because of their experience on this show, and also based off of the title.  But in my own mind, I've never known anyone that had the full capacity to fix the life of another, because I'm a realist. I tend to look at things from a realistic perspective.  To me, even though people have the capability to help others by using tools of wisdom and experience, this is too strong a title for one human being to manage.  I believe it takes more than human capability alone to do so, it has to be coupled with the Power of God and principles to live by in order to fix the life of another. This takes not just words and short sessions to talk,  but the time and effort, of those in need to exercise the tools they've been given, accompanied by support, and determination.  Which means, this cannot be accomplished in a few episodes on a TV show.

I've recently watched several episodes of the show, and found that it dealt with very deep personal issues, but I also noticed that when the episode was done, people left the show frustrated and without a resolution.  You know, I believe that people have their own intentions as to why they have talk shows to help others.  Sometime people help or appear to help others with the inner agenda to get personal satisfaction or their own self fulfillment, and others help without the experience or expertise to help people overcome their issues. In both cases, the end result is failure because the person leaves the show without a resolution, but they've aired all of their dirty laundry for the world to see.  My heart was broken as I watched a small clipping of DMX with Iyanla.  In this particular episode DMX cried several times and I knew based off of his past experience shared, he was a broken man in need of God's healing as well as the love of people (not to condone some things, but I feel he was provoked at times) .  While I continued to watch I noticed by Iyanla's response to him was very curt and lacking compassion.  It showed in her response and body language that she could not understand and identify with his plight, or have the in-depth compassion as to his existing state.  He needed someone that's "been there and done that", a vessel that's walked in his shoes to help him, and that cannot be done in a few episodes or in a 6 step plan over the course of a couple months. 

I looked at this and gained wisdom, many people are wearing shoes that they cannot fill.  Anybody can wear a title, or go to college and get a Masters degree in Psychology, but it's not until you've been through something yourself that you can truly help someone else and identify with them.  People usually draw to and give an attentive ear to someone that's "been there and done that." People give ear and respond more quickly to those with common ground. You set a better example before people if  you've walked a life in their shoes and became a conqueror, and mastered challenges. I've also learned that compassion goes a long way, and you get more bee's with honey.  People are more willing to share with you if give off the energy of love and understanding.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Change Is Evident

By Patricia McKinney

When change has happened within it shines like the sun from the inside out.  It shines like the sun in the form of inner healing, it shines in the form of love, peace, and wisdom, it shines in the form of self respect, and respect for others.  Change within exudes in a confidence and assurance from God on high, and it illuminates like a light in a dark world of despair, bringing hope to those that need it.

You see, true change is evident, and it provokes a reaction when people see you, either good or bad, especially if they've known you for years.  Change within doesn't come because you've moved away or have a position, because there's plenty of fools with money.

It takes God and seeking him for change to begin.  He alone can open blind eye's and allow one to see that they're more than they''ll ever know, and it takes him to restore that "tattered fence, broken and worn, and heal that woman scorn". 

The change in you will cause a stir among your peers, causing them to see that God performs miracles, and compel them to call upon His amazing grace to change them too.

Friday, November 20, 2015

Follow The Path Of The Unknown

By Patricia McKinney 

"Sometime when difficult situations arise or a crisis comes, we are placed in positions where we can choose to stay in it, or take drastic measures ( also known as) following the path of the unknown to ensure our survival. I find that usually people that have experienced hardship in life have innate survival techniques built within, which means, they can adapt to their surroundings because of the survival skills developed through hardship or lack, but fear is their setback to moving forward.  Sometime in life, a bad situation is God's way to tell us that some changes need to be made. Even if that means to let go of a home, business, familiar surroundings,or unhealthy relationships, it's all for the better, because he may replenish and rebuild what you've lost. Your return may not be in the same form as before, but it can come in the form of wisdom and knowledge to make better decisions or to help someone else, leading you to a much more fulfilling life in the long run."

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Don't Be Ashamed

By Keesah Pelzer 

We've all done things in our lives that we're not too proud of, and as a human, I've definitely done things that I was totally ashamed of as well, but realistically speaking, who hasn't? Sometimes we feel as though we're the only ones who have done wild and crazy things, and made not so good decisions. We've even allowed people to make us feel this way. 

Out of a trillion things that I was humiliated about, having three kids by two different guys (whom I am no longer with), was number one on my list. I didn't feel like explaining, and I didn't want anyone to know, so I tried hide my pregnancy from some of my family members and social media. I just knew they were going to have a lot to say about the fact that my two younger girls are only fourteen months apart, but I could only hide it for but so long, and before I knew it, here came the questions! "Are you preggo? Ohhh, you're having another baby? Well, I see you aren't wasting any time!" It was so embarrassing. It wasn't just the fact that I was pregnant again that I was completely ashamed of, it was the struggle that came along with it. Going to WIC appointments, being a state recipient, and having to learn the proper way to raise them according to Gods standards. It took for one of my sisters from Women In Transition to share her story about how she struggled being a young mom and having three kids back to back. In that moment, I felt a sense of relief to know that I wasn't the only one that was ashamed of something so minor. 

I was at McDonalds the other day, and I ran into this girl named Asia that I used to go to school with. In all of about five minutes, we played catch up and gave brief summaries of our lives within the past six years. I told her that I have three kids now, and when I said that, she looked at me and said, "What were you thinking?" Now normally, I would shy away from answering questions like that, because I was too timid and embarrassed of my situation to respond, but I looked her square in her face and told her that a lot of people have asked me that question, and to be honest, having another abortion wasn't an option. I told her, that people are quick to judge and look down on you and turn their noses up at people like myself because we have multiple children, but those are the same people that harbor deeper skeletons in their closets. What gave her the right to ask such a silly question? Being that she has two kids of her own one would think that she knows better. 

Indeed it gets hard a lot of the times, but I chose to give my children a fighting chance, even keeping in mind that there was a strong possibility that I'd be raising them alone. I myself, have had two abortions in the past, and after my last one, I was so sad. I always wondered what would that child have looked like, would it be a girl or a boy, and what type of personality would they have? I look at my girls now, and thank God for them, and I try for a second to imagine how life would be if I would have chosen to abort them. It took me a while to not let others make me feel less than because I chose to keep my kids, and after a while, I didn't have time to be ashamed. I realized that I needed Gods help and guidance so that I could be the best parent possible to my girls, and if I was too ashamed to open up about it, how was I going to receive the help that I needed? There is no reason to be embarrassed about the things we've gone through in life, because our testimony can help someone else once we've been healed, even if its something lowdown, dirty and shameful. You'd be surprised at how many people have been through the same things as us.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Beyond Human Capabilities

"I've never known anyone that had the full capacity to fix the life of another, because I'm a realist. I tend to look at things from a realistic perspective.  To me, even though people have the capability to help others by using tools of wisdom and experience, this is too strong a title for one human being to manage.  I believe it takes more than human capability alone to do so, it has to be coupled with the Power of God and principles to live by in order to fix the life of another. This takes not just words and short sessions to talk,  but the time and effort, of those in need to exercise the tools they've been given, accompanied by support, and determination. Many people are wearing shoes that they cant fill. Anybody can wear a title, or go to college and get a Masters degree in Psychology, but it's not until you've been through something yourself that you can truly help someone else and identify with them.  People usually draw to and give an attentive ear to someone that's "been there and done that." People give ear and respond more quickly to those with common ground. You set a better example before people if  you've walked a life in their shoes and became a conqueror, and mastered challenges. I've also learned that compassion goes a long way, and you get more bee's with honey.  People are more willing to share with you if give off the energy of love and understanding."-Angela Cox

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Sticks And Stones

By Lurenna Hutchings

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” Coming up in grade school I was taught this. But if I told the truth, I was not sure if I believed it. Why? Because words did hurt. No matter how hard I acted like I had tough skin, mean things people said to or about me, still had ability to hurt my feelings. I may not have expressed or showed the pain right then, but I harbored over it, sometimes for years.

We need to keep in mind sticks and stones do hurt, and so do words. Scriptures tells us that life and death is in the power of the tongue. We can lift someone up, motivate and encourage them with just a kind word. We can inspire, assure and boost others up with a compliment. On the other hand, we can discourage, hurt and destroy others self-esteem with our words. So let’s put away the sticks and stones and make the choice to use our words to give life to one another. Make a decision to not gossip and back bite. Compliment others on purpose. Real maturity comes when we can bridle our tongues.   

Monday, November 16, 2015


By Lurenna Hutchings

When you are going through something, who’s the first person you call? Do you call your girlfriend on the phone and talk for hours about something they don’t have the answer to? Our do you blast it all over social media looking for acceptance and agreement? Sometimes we are quick to tell the world our issues and situations like they have the answers and solutions. Then we put all faith and hope in there solutions, but when we don’t receive their results, then what? Who do we blame for the outcome?

If we did less talking and more praying, our situations wouldn’t seem as unbearable as they do. We seek everyone for answers and solutions instead of seeking the One who holds our provision. Yes we should obtain wise counsel when we don’t know some things, but our first choice should be God. When we are desolate, casting our cares on the Lord is refreshing and rewarding. No matter our situation, the Lord is constant and a true friend. God can always carry the burden, so we don’t have to. So SHHHH, when in distress, cast your cares on the Lord for He cares for you. 

Friday, November 13, 2015


By Karen Ricketts

I know I need to stand
Stand no matter the weather
Planting each foot firmly against the storms of life
Staying awake and alert no matter

Eyes, ears and heart open wide to you each day
Seeking a wind of change to blow my way
To stand when my tomorrow is uncertain
Knowing your love is steadfast and unchanging 

Stand I must on His Word and promises
Discarding disobedience and denial - hindrances
Truth is, the fight is internal as well
But always in faithfulness and truth, seek to excel
Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord
For by your strength I can do all things
Though I often stumble and waver

With just a mustard seed size of faith oh the wonders

Thursday, November 12, 2015

A Good Name Is Worth More Than Gold

By Patricia McKinney 

There's a proverb that reads, "A good name is more desirable than great riches, to be esteemed is better than silver and gold".  I think if more people believed that their reputation were important, they'd be more mindful of how they treat people, and take into consideration the kind of legacy that they'll leave behind. Even the most forgetful person will remember you if you were kind (or otherwise).  Unfortunately, we live in times now where people have lost integrity and lack the simplest acts of kindness, and quality character. They forget that they'll be remembered by those they've encountered, but some act as if they could care less.

Have you ever been to a funeral, and the person giving the eulogy had to make up lies to cover up for the deceased?  They'd ramble on about how the deceased person was loving and kind, and "dearly beloved" by those they left behind? They'd leave all truth obsolete to comfort the souls of the listeners. All the while you knew good and well that the eulogy was so far-fetched from the truth that it was pathetic? In fact, the decease may have been blatant in bad behavior, one that "got over" on people on more occasions than one, they were mean spirited, or even a menace while they walked the earth? After the sermon ended and everyone dispersed, they went back to reality, and the truth prevailed. There was no more denying that the one soon to be "pushing up daisies" was not the picture perfect one described earlier. In fact some attending the funeral may have only showed up to provide moral support to those in bereavement, but really couldn't wait until it was over.  This might sound like something portrayed in a comedy film, but it happens in real life.

This in itself is a tragedy, but unfortunately, it's true.  What do you want people to remember you by? When someone mentions your name, how do you want them to react? Will they cringe or smile? How do you want to impact those that you encounter?  What are you doing today that touches the life of someone else? Can they smile and recall good thoughts and memories, or life lessons that you've given them?   What kind of name are you creating for yourself?  We all have a past, and realistically every human being makes mistakes along the way. We've all done things that we're not proud of, but what are you doing now to leave a positive impression? Will you go down in history with enemies wishing they could have got to you first? Besides,  while you've been given the gift of life and are still walking the earth, consider this: you never know who you might need in the long run, and your reputation (your name) could be the very thing that determines if you reap a blessing or not, or if someone will show you or your children favor in a time of need. Remember, a good name is worth more than gold, and even the most forgetful person remembers another's actions.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

A Wolf In Sheep clothing

By Keesah Pelzer 

Has anyone ever came to you friendly and smiling, and you guys seem to have a few things in common, so you hit it off? Perhaps you guys have some mutual friends on Facebook, or have gone through some of the same personal trials in life, or maybe even practice the same religion. Naturally, those are some of the leading reasons why one would feel a connection to a potential wolf.

When you think of a wolf in sheep clothing, automatically, we connect it to being someone of a suspicious nature, kind of like Little Red Riding Hood's "grandmother", but rarely  do we stop and think that while these predators are in sheep clothing, they actually look just like the part they are playing. Its easy to get sucked in by the wolf's debonair ways. He's charming, courteous, persuasive, confident, and smooth, but yet so sharp. It only takes one wrong turn to get you off course, and before you know it, you'll be wondering off to somewhere that you have no business going. 

People appear to be normal, and have a kindred spirit, but underneath it all, they are deadly, and venomous, and we need to stay far away from them. While this trick never seems to gets old, it also takes God's spirit to sharpen us, and keep us on our toes, and our eyes opened, so that we can discern and be on guard against their tactics, because no matter how genuine or authentic they appear to be, he'll always give us some sort of sign so that we can identify the spawn.      

A wolf in sheep clothing does not always necessarily come in the form of a neighbor, a stranger, a relative, or a spouse. It can be applied to situations that we think are harmless, but really serve as a trap to kill, steal, and destroy everything that we have, and the things that are to come.

Its a major problem when we're easily lead to follow the ungodly footsteps of something or someone that we really don't know, or even someone that we do know . Through some personal experiences of my own, I had to learn that the hard way though. So trust me when I say every sheep that baa's, can easily be a wolf in disguise. 

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Letting Go Of Pain

By Lurenna Hutchings

Have you ever heard the saying “hurting people hurt people”? Sounds like a type of an oxymoron don’t it? But how many of us can attest to it being the truth? Either we have been the one doing the hurting or we have been the receiver of the hurt from a person who have been hurt. Whichever side you have been on, neither feels good. I am a witness, I have been on both sides.

What I have learned to be true is that it is easier to inflict pain than at feeling and acknowledging pain. We are good at causing hurt than feeling hurt.  We off load pain instead of feeling it. I would mistreat other people because I was wronged or mistreated by someone else. Or some of us will hide pain deep down inside and tell our mind that we are over it. Then one conversation, situation, or circumstance will trigger that pain and cause us to blow our top. Often times to the point we need professional help in order to cope and move on, if we can come back at all. I’ve been blessed to still be in my rightful mind considering all that I have been through. But I must also admit, it wasn’t by my own doing. It was God who kept me and regulated my mind.

Some say time heals all wounds but I must say I disagree. It takes the power of the Holy Ghost and a yielded spirit in order to be healed and delivered of the pain that we have been through. We can’t keep going about life thinking that we are healed and we constantly find ourselves repeating unhealthy cycles. We have to just “stop” and let God show us where we need to be healed and allow Him to do it. It’s a process and it does not happen overnight. Give over the control and the seat of Lordship in your heart, and watch how God will hide you, heal you and deliver you into the whole and complete person that He intends for you to be.

Monday, November 9, 2015

A Servant's Heart

By Lurenna Hutchings

I recently met a woman that by observation, has given me a new meaning of what having a servant’s heart is all about. I watched her serve her leaders and their family with a pure heart and selfless love. She showed me that a servant’s heart has more to do with your relationship with God than it has to do with the aspiration to be recognized for the things that you do for others.  You can tell that she was just being herself and tending to the needs of others because it was just a part of who she was. She didn’t wait around to be told what to do or to receive any praises. She just served! 

Just by being in her presence, I saw the love of God in its purist form. No matter how much money you have, how educated or talented you are, or how many people you may know, if you want to see the manifestation of Gods blessings and promises to you, you have to have a servant’s heart. Not everyone will ask for it. Not everyone will be able to do it. It will take dying to self and a spirit of meekness to serve the way she serves. But if you are wondering why you are not being blessed, ask yourself if you are being a blessing to others? And if you are not, ask God to give you insight to see the needs of others and the ability and resources to help someone else. 

Friday, November 6, 2015

Obsessing Over Another Women's Lifestyle

By Patricia McKinney

Obsession is an unhealthy and compulsive preoccupation with something or someone else. It is also defined as an irrational motive for performing trivial or repetitive actions, even against your will. It is a motivation that is inconsistent with reason or logic.
In much simpler terms, it is to constantly dwell on (think or worry about), covet or be infatuated with a person, place or thing, or idea, to a point where it is mentally unhealthy, and you want ownership or covet the very thing your obsessing over. At this point, the obsessed culprit will begin to act out the very thing that they're obsessed over. They may start to mimic the person by dressing like them, or change their behavior patterns and style, copy a business idea, to draw attention to themselves, or be driven to the point of chasing after the very thing the other party has, even if they don't have the means to obtain it.  
To obsess over something first starts with a thought that's triggered by something, or someone that's drawn your attention. Its usually an iconic figure, or someone that you find attractive or appealing to the eyes in some way, shape, or form. It can be in a persons looks, possessions, status, marriage & family life, home, business, style and confidence level, the way they walk, etc, that draws the attention of the obsessed. Usually when people are wrecking with low-self esteem and swimming in a Sea of  insecurity, but don't take strides to change themselves or their situation, they'll sit idly by, spending valuable time focusing on other people.  All the while this unhealthy focus can turn into roots of jealousy, intimidation, and covetousness, while they become delusional, living in a fantasy land wanting to be someone else.  When people covet, they'll become a mimic, that's right, a copy cat and a fake never discovering who they are as a person, while covering up their true self in someone else's image. 
In my profession, I've dealt with more women than the sand on a sea shore.  I've witnessed all different cultures, age groups, personalities, attitudes, styles, and classes of women.  One of the main things women do is make the mistake of coming to me for help, but covering up their true self, a.k.a. they are "Fake" at first.  The first thing I do when I counsel them is pull the covers back.  In other words, get to the root of the matter, which is their true self, not the person with pounds of make up on and lashes a mile long, and weave reaching down to their butt cheeks, but to their core issues.  The majority of them have low self esteem and various internal issues that need to be dealt with, so understandably for them, the process of revealing their "true self" and inner issues" can be a little difficult at first. 
Now I must admit, I have come a long way and have a wealth of experience because of my previous lifestyle. I used to wear the long clawed nails, and the Remy Brazilian hair in all lengths, and I'd wear the long lashes, even in vibrant colors. I used to go out to the club and get my drink on, and drop it at the strip clubs too, so I do know what its like to be on the other side of life and it took God and a desire for something new to change that. I've also, conquered abuse, molestation and rape, drug addiction, incarceration, and all types of things that many people succumb to.  It took a lot of hard work, a strong mind, and most of all the Power of God to conquer it, but I did it, and because I'm now a veteran in this arena, I can help other women, and show them that can make changes for the better too. So when I deal with them , I know where they're located mentally, spiritually and emotionally.  I find that many women don't know who they are because they've been torn down, and  are unhappy within. As a result they'll try to find themselves by mimicking someone they've obsessed over.  That explains the piles of makeup, and unnecessary extremes they'll take to be something they're not.  
You know, being obsessed with someone else is too time consuming and can be very costly. It can be so bad for some people that I think they need to seek some medical attention! Why not take the time to discover who you are? It's way cheaper and less time consuming.  Why waist your time obsessing, coveting and mimicking someone else's life? In the end it will all be a flop any way. Save yourself the embarrassment and shame.  When the mask comes off and the covers are pulled back, you'll whined up being the laughing stock and talk of the town.  

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Everything Is Not Good For The soul

By Patricia McKinney 

One of the most important things that I teach all the time (which is also based in the scriptures), is that in order to change, it starts with your mind set being renewed. Which means you have to learn something new that promotes integrity, good moral standards, and productive living that all comes from a blueprint designed by God.

You have to seek God and ask for help to change old habits that are naturally hard to break, and strength to separate from those things, or people that prevent you from arriving at your purpose. You also have to watch, and be cautious of those you allow in your personal space, because everyone that we're so comfortable with, may not have the right motives and intentions concerning you, or be a positive influence in your life.

You also have to be mindful of what you intake, or the things that you watch or listen to. Everything is not good for the soul, sometime we can be feeding ourselves things that promote "the bad habits within us" that are hard to break. What you allow around you and what you take in , plays a huge part that results in where you arrive. Remember this, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life"(Proverbs 15:23). Also, "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.(Proverbs 13:20)