Women In Transition...Where Change Begins

Women In Transition...Where Change Begins
Continue To Follow Patricia McKinney www.womenintran.org

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Many are Called but "Very" Few are Chosen

                                                   By Patricia McKinney

God Promises To Make Something Good out of The Storms That Brings Devastation to our Lives as you abide in him and him alone.

Yesterday was not a Good day for me... Though I was weak and tired in my Physical Mind and Body My Spirit was Strong and Mighty in The Lord.. I Give out a lot, Spiritually, Naturally and I carry the weight of my ministry.  I'm always able to push pass what I want to do for myself and do what I been Chosen to do.. but sometimes I get so overwhelmed with everything that's been laid before me that I just want to throw in the towel. The Price of LAYING DOWN YOUR OWN LIFE.

I'm Sharing this because many truly don't understand of counting the cost  laying down their life for others and to be used by God as a willing vessel, Its not about you getting the glory it's about God getting the glory out of your life. It's also not a beautiful journey with flowers and roses which many would have you to believe , It's a walk of opposition, rejection, disappointments, separations, commitments, patience, endurance, loneliness and perseverance which many are not willing to sacrifice their life to do so.

Dedicating your life to your purpose can be a trying but fulfilling, exciting and refreshing when you know your reward is eternal life. when God chooses you, he qualifies you and equips you but very few are chosen because everyone is not built for the task. So don't be so quick to say that your chosen to do a Great work because it's a desire of your heart, to be chosen comes with a price, complete submission and the most  scariest thing that you can ever image.. So in other words stay in your own lane and work what you have been giving even if it's a small thing <3


By Karen Ricketts
I have been living in the United States now for over thirty years, coming here when I was around fourteen years old. While I was happy to reunite with my mother after over five years living in Jamaica away from her, I wasn't quite ready for a permanent stay in the US. As human beings, we become comfortable with the people, places and things that are familiar to us, so change can be difficult.

I was thrown into a whole new language, people, and culture and had to quickly adjust. My plans to return to high school, and re-unite with my friends was thrown out the door unexpectedly. Often times, we have plans for our lives but then someone or something will come along to detour us. Or the plans we have, don't line up with the plan God has for us and we find ourselves in an uncomfortable and unfamiliar place.

What was also evident to me was that my mother didn't respect or value me enough as an individual to discuss her plans with me ahead of time . You can always tell your value or worth to someone base on how they treat you. People are opportunist, and they'll take advantage of you based on your situation or ignorance, family included. She continued to inform me of life changing news at the last minute. We moved out of that State only a few days before I was informed, and moved again two other times after that.

Being a teenager and a recent immigrant to this country made my situation very difficult. I had no one to talk to or seek advice from. I realized that this was an advantage for my mother in many ways. It kept me off balance and gave her almost complete control over me. It also kept me from forming really close friendships due to the uncertainty.

After high school, I learned some hard lessons in surviving and staying afloat on my own. I made many mistakes and missed out on opportunities due to my ignorance and lack of guidance. But it is only through adversity, circumstances and situations can you know what you're made of. That can only happen when you're taken out of your comfort zone.
God uses adversity to build us up and to even get us to move from one place to the next. Your past is an important part of who you are today. I value those experiences because not only did I make it through, but I also learned a lot from them.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Hatred is Unacceptable: Love Thy Neighbor

                                                   By Patricia McKinney

Last night I spoke too women from all difference races which many were not Christians. I told them that I love them all and if I couldn't speak the truth then I will get up and leave right now. Of course I stayed .. I shared with them about the heart and how we needed the Power of God and his Holy Spirit to bring healing to our lives so we can be made whole.. I told them that hate is unacceptable ...and that we can't judge a person based on the color of their skin or on their ancestors that took part in racism.. The Reason why we are so divided is because of brainwashing bad experiences we had with a person of another race or because of our current situations .. Hatred and Bitterness is the main factor of this behavior and we have to do better.. I told them before we can truly Love our Neighbor no matter what color they are we need the Love of God in our hearts first... I had a wonderful time on Last night ♥♥♥

A Word Of Wisdom

 By Patricia McKinney

"Everything is not laid out on a silver platter, some of life's greatest testimonies come through trials".

Monday, July 28, 2014


By Keesah Pelzer

We've all heard the saying "You can take them out of the hood, but you cant take the hood out of them". In simpler terms that just means you can take someone out of a place of poverty (naturally) and put them in a much nicer setting, but ultimately, their way of thinking is going to remain the same as if they were still living in that old place.
Most of the time when we're taken from a setting mentally, where there isn't any structure, rules, morals, and no one to show us how to do things, we go about life thinking that the way we operate is just fine. We don't see the dysfunction that we're living in, and when we're granted with an opportunity to step out into something that's better than what we're used to getting, we show our true colors, and because of our lack of experience, we don't know how to take care of it.
I remember when I got my first apartment. I was about twenty one years old, and when I moved in, I had no idea how to keep it up. I would let the garbage outside pile up and get messy, and not pick it up. I figured since I didn't own the house it wasn't my problem. Growing up we never had a dirty house, my mom always made sure it was clean, but because of the things my mind was fixated on, I couldn't connect the dots.  Looking back, of course that sounds insane, but what was common sense to someone else, wasn't common sense to me back then, because the only responsibility I had  cleaning my own room. Nothing more, and nothing less.
It takes God to come in and show us how to do things, and give us the simple tools that we're lacking. Or in my case, he used a Women Of Noble Character to teach me the ropes about how to maintain in everyday living. She taught me how to grocery shop, how to shop and take care of my children, and how to conduct myself like a woman, among may other things. Although I was legally grown in age, there were essential  keys to life that I was missing that made me infantile.
Needless to say, that's only one of the area of life that that most of us had to learn how to maintain. A lot of us don't take care of our bodies as well. We eat a mass amount of unhealthy foods, and indulge in habits like drinking, smoking and taking all types of other drugs and medications that were designed to bring harm to our bodies, and not to mention engaging in all types of activities that wear us out.
When God blesses us with things it would be in our best interest to handle them with care, whether its a four by four room with a bed on the floor, or a strong and healthy body. We have to allow him to come in and do a work in us so that when its time to move on to something bigger and better, we'll be equipped with common sense, and the means to know how to take care of everything he has in store for us.

Friday, July 25, 2014


                                                        By Karen Ricketts

Nowadays, we live in what they call a "throw away" society. If something you buy breaks or stops working, you just throw it out and buy a new one. Unless it's really expensive, and has some value then you might get it fixed. As vessels of Christ we go through so much in life that causes cracks and breaks in us, in our hearts, mind, body, soul and spirit.
A broken vessel, let's say a clay vessel made to hold water is unable to be used for that purpose as designed by the potter because it has been compromised. It is broken either through misuse, overuse, or mishandling. You can be broken from what you go through and endure in life like pain, heartache, failures, rejection, abuse, and all the ills that life has to offer. These will compromise and cause breaks in your vessel. My vessel in this case is me and your vessel is you. 
Wounds and defects can sometimes go so deep and be so traumatic that you'd rather forget it and move on. But it's always going to be there either festering or laying dormant. One thing I do know is that Jesus came for the broken vessels, the sick, the broken hearted and the wounded. His desire is to heal us from everything that was done wrong to us and from every wrong that we did to ourselves and to others. He's the Potter, but first I have to get on the Potter's wheel and allow him to heal and fix me up.
I'm of more value to him, just because I am broken. He'd rather I come to him to get healed and delivered as only he knows the wrongs to make right in my life. I have to tell you getting healed or fixed up is not a pain free process. Emphasis on process. It is daunting when you have to come face to face with those traumatic, buried, sinful or dirty part of you but it's a process that's worth it.
I have a long way to go, and will continually need to be on the Potter's wheel as long as there's breath in me. But you know what, there's no place else I'd rather be. 

Wednesday, July 23, 2014


By Karen Ricketts
One of my daughters' favorite Disney movie is Mulan, and it's become one of my favorite as well. Mulan, the heroine in the movie, dressed up as a boy in order to take her injured father's place in the King's army.
I remember hearing the song "Reflection" for the first time and how it struck a chord with me, especially the verse that says "when will my reflection show who I am inside". In the most recent months this particular verse of the song has played back to me while looking in the mirror or at certain times during my interaction with others.
I'm beginning to really see the family resemblance and attitude of my mother especially, but also of my aunts and cousins. The scientific community calls this your DNA, family traits and habits. While I love my family, I can guarantee you that at this very moment you'll find mother and son/daughter not speaking to each other, aunt P and aunt T had another falling out, brother and sister or cousin and cousin refusing to even be in the same room with each other and on and on.
There's always drama, division, bitterness, unforgiveness, jealousy, you name it. During the holidays, the ones that are speaking to each other get together and talk dirt about the ones not there. This only breeds more animosity and division. Growing up and even today, I never wanted to be like my mother, any of her sisters or like any of my cousins because of the things I witnessed. However, because of my DNA and bloodline I have to face the facts that I look and act similar to them. There is definitely no denying that fact. We know that when we look in the mirror we see a natural reflection, but not immediately seen are our psychological and emotional states as well.
Today, I desire to be a reflection of Christ and the person he's calling me to be. I know he desires to make me over in his image in every way shape and form and that's why that song had such an impact on me. I'm still a reflection, of my parents, which seems to be more pronounced lately, but this only serves as a reminder that I need to continue to seek the Lord even the more so I can eventually be transformed in his likeness and image. I need my DNA changed. 


By Keesah Pelzer
To truly get to know someone could be like peeling back the layers of an onion, and it could take a while for you to get to the central, most important and inner parts of that person, and really understand who they are. That's why its always good to get to know people for yourself instead of going based off of what someone else says.
I remember this lady I used to go to church with had a fall out with the pastor, and she said to me, "The longer you stick around, the more you'll see how she really is", and she was right! I took it upon myself to stick around, and I found out that she was the complete opposite of what the lady tried to place in my head.
The problem was that because the pastor didn't go about doing things the way the lady thought she should, she was sketched to be the devils advocate, and had I went with the masses and followed behind her, I would have been in the same state of mind that she is in today, missing all the great things that God has in store for me. The outcome of their relationship had nothing to do with me, and I would have been utterly wrong if I were to go solely off of what the angry lady said about the pastor.
Her whole objective was to make me come into an agreement with the things she was doing wrong, and to keep me from moving higher in God. I've learned that people give ear to the wrong individuals, and somehow we fail to comprehend that the people trying to detour us from our destiny in Christ can't help us, and can barely help themselves.
 In the times we're living in now, having a strong mind is essential, because without it, you'll practically fall for anything, allowing people and their fabricated stories to lead you straight to the slaughter house.
In life, there are always going to be roadblocks (which can also be people) that try to stop us from succeeding, but if we want to make it bad enough, we'll push pass the, "DO NOT GO" sign and keep moving and pressing forward, no matter what people say, and who tries to stop us.
We cant let someone else's opinion stop us from getting what we need in order to survive, because they can say those things out of jealousy, envy, or just out of the plain wickedness in their hearts.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Peek a Boo We See You!!!!!!!!!

    People will always have an Opinion about you
      But live your life for God not people.
Patricia McKinney


                                            Exclusive! By Patricia McKinney

In a politically correct society we're told not to offend, talk or whisper anything that will expose the true hatred or evil that's in a person's heart, especially when it comes down to distant relatives, siblings or our very own parents. We were told that whatever happened in the home when we were children that caused discord, fighting, sexual, mental and physical abuse, we were to sweep it under the rug and never mention it again BECAUSE IT CAN RUIN our families reputation, but the whole time we are really destroying ourselves while living in constant pain of being neglected and rejected. 
A lot of people, especially family members believe that just because we are related, friends, or a child of God that they can just disrespect us and say whatever they want, whenever they want, and we just have to sit back and take it.  NOT SO!!!!  So on yesterday after staying quiet for 5 years and receiving vicious attacks and disrespect from afar (LOL!), all stemming from jealousy, my Christian walk, and my different opinions, I had to finally put to rest and address  my sibling brother a, religious nutcase!! A sibling that knew the Bible but never really applied it to his life, but used the Bible to try to belittle me because of his current state. He criticizes my lifestyle (which isn't mega) and my opinions because they're different from what he believes. The sad part about this fool is that EVEN THOUGH HE'S MY OLDEST SIBLING he doesn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of!! I have always opened my home to him, fed him, bought him a few things here and there, and gave to him financially, though he would STEAL anything of value.   
My biological brother is a  52 year old Black American, a high school drop out, like myself, but unlike him I got my life back together. I got my GED, now married,  had 3 children, the CEO over a private foundation, a pastor, radio host, chaplain and leader. But he has never, ever had a real job, he steals for a living and has been in and out of jail for the last 36 years, and now at 52 years old he still  hasn't changed. He's still smoking crack, running the streets and selling a handful of drugs to feed his 36 year old drug addiction. Not to mention, he's sleeping on our mother's (which is senior citizen) couch still trying to teach, prophesy, manipulate and intimidate others in their Christian walk on social media. What a master deceiver!
While he's persecuting me on everything from me being a black conservative and making it out of that poverty mindset, he's eating up all of our mother's food, stealing her money and spitting hatred towards white people that gave him opportunities, but also stole from them because of the hatred that he has towards successful people that work hard for what they have. What a Jerk!!!! Anybody that doesn't believe in his "Distorted Bible Philosophy" are evil, and just because my opinions are different from his, he continues to attack my character and calls me a "Conservative Freak" while the whole time he's a "Racist  Liberal"... with no place to live.
Unfortunately, many people go through life, stumbling, repeating the past, and blame shifting so they don't have to change. They use this as a ticket to point the finger elsewhere, while excusing themselves from taking personal responsibility for their own actions. And just because it's a person that you grew up with (like a sibling) doesn't give them the right to disrespect you or disqualify you because you moved on with your life and you share different opinions. If you can relate to my personal story, you stand strong and never let those family members or anyone persuade you away from what you feel and know is MORALLY right.
Jesus said "You will know them by their fruit", and the only fruit that he has been producing for the last 36 years are rotten ones...


                                                       By Patricia McKinney

We've all been in situations where we've felt victimized or treated unfairly in one way or another, whether it was from a stranger, a co-worker, superior, friend or family member. Though some experiences are harder to "let go of" than others, I know it can be done. I chose to be a "Conqueror", and not let my past experiences, flaws, or failures get the best of me, and prevent me from moving forward.
Unfortunately, many people go through life, stumbling, repeating the past, and blame shifting so they don't have to change. They use this as a ticket to point the finger elsewhere, while excusing themselves from taking personal responsibility for their own actions.  It's much easier to "play the victim," that way you don't have to apply yourself by making efforts, it excuses you from looking in the mirror to see your own flaws, faults, and failures. It prevents you from ever analyzing what is fact or fiction, true or false.
Meaning, sometimes when we have multiple inner issues, and festering wounds, it's much easier to throw every incident, and every person into "one pot" and identify them all the same. When we throw everything into one pot, we live in "imbalance" by convicting those that are innocent, and acquitting those that are guilty, but never getting to the root of what's ailing us as a person. In turn, we ruin or prevent new relationships from ever budding, and miss out on the beauty that lye's in the details of life because we're blinded by unforgiveness or roots of bitterness, that's coddled and held closely to our hearts.
As a result, we destroy our own selves and continue to live in pain, while we watch the world pass us by. Those that play the victim, also look for others to victimize, so they too can share in their misery. They choose to live life handicapped and maimed, instead of growing to personal maturity, while living a vicious cycle that can only be stopped by themselves and God alone.
There's so many people that live in guilt because they try to please people that will never be satisfied. They try to appease those that refuse to change, and suffer at the hands of those that "play the victim," while they live beneath life's simple pleasures and the fulfillment that God intended.
But I say to you today, that once you recognize those in your life that play the victim leaving you feeling guilty, no matter how hard you try, leave them in the hands of God. Only he can pierce the hearts of mankind, and bring clarity to any situation, while making every crooked path straight.

Monday, July 21, 2014


                                                         By Karen Ricketts

There is a famine in the land
The drought has overcome so many
And is at the door of many more
Where is the nourishing rain
The rain sent from God above
The land is parched and dry
People are succumbing from lack
Their storehouses are depleted
His people need to drink and be fed
Heavenly food for the spirit and body
They need clean water cleansing to the soul
Yes they eat but remain hungry
Yes they drink but are still thirsty
Famine and drought are overtaking His people

Friday, July 18, 2014


                                                         By Keesah Pelzer

Have you ever done something that yielded horrible results or consequences, like playing around a hot iron, and accidentally brushing your skin against it causing a small, but painful burn. Or maybe you tried to experiment with your own hair, and cut your bang way too short? Whatever the case maybe, I bet you learned the next time around to be more cautious and not to do it again.
Often it takes a good falling, and bumping of the head for us to realize that something was just not a good idea at all. Majority of the time we take offence when people that have already been down the road we're traveling on can see where we're headed, and tells us that what we're doing is going to cause us some heartache and problems, but being that we're hard headed and stubborn individuals, we decide to test the waters and go anyways, reaping a crop filled with "I should have listened".
A few years back, I was in a "serious" relationship and I already had a three year old prior to that. You know how most of us women do when we feel like he's the one, we go against common sense and decide to have a baby! I remember breaking the news to my spiritual mom was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I couldn't hide it, so I had to muster up the courage to just do it! After I managed to spill the beans, she flat out told me, "Don't you have another baby! No more kids, shut it down, because its going to be hard for you!" And I listened to her...for a few weeks, and after that about three months postpartum, I got pregnant yet again! So I was twenty five with three kids.
That story is just one of many incidents that I definitely should have listened, but nonetheless, I've totally learned my lesson, because she was right! Being a single mom is not a joke. Although I love my girls, if I could do it all over again I would take the consequences more seriously, and I would go down the more sensible road. We get caught up on the name picking, the cute baby clothes, the idea of starting the family that we've been longing for, and having a child that'll look identical to the person that we're madly in "love" with at that point of time, and we sweep away our logical thinking.
God always sends a warning before destruction, and I had several...dreams and all, and sometimes we think we know what's best for ourselves, when we really have the slightest idea about what we want vs. what we need. From what I've experienced (and still am) sometimes he will allow us to have or catch a glimpse of the rawness that's lye's behind what we're in search of, just so that we can see that what we thought we wanted, we really don't want at all.
So when God tells you not to do something, or he sends someone in your path to warn you, take heed! He's not just telling us these things because he wants to be the fun police and stop us from enjoying our lives, its that he's trying to prevent us from making inerasable decisions that can ultimately cause us a lifetime of struggle and pain.
Experience is in fact the best teacher, but there are just some things that we should not be willing to experience, especially if it goes against common sense.

Thursday, July 17, 2014


By Angela Cox
When you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, it's easy to reason away all common sense and make rash decisions that will cost you later down the line. Especially if that rock or hard place presents discomfort, or you've allowed your emotions to take over the situation in so much that you'll try to put together pieces to a puzzle that just don't fit.
Have you ever bought a vehicle that you knew you couldn't afford, or a big ticket item that was way above your financial means without having the right amount of income to maintain it? I mean the income not just to meet the car note or pay the bill on time, but the insurance, regular maintenance, and maybe a little extra set aside for emergencies? The fact that you're tired of walking, busing, taking the train, or going without, plays a huge part as to why you'd make a rash decision and jump the gun (move before you're ready) in the first place, but if you're pay check doesn't add up, eventually you'll end up losing the very thing you purchased, and make an even bigger mess than you had before.
Even though irrational decisions like the one presented before, might cost you a good credit score, or put you in debt, there are others that can change the course of life all together, and not just affect your life, but those around you. For example: you can jump the gun to get married to the wrong person because you feel you're getting old, you're lonely or you're just driven from lust. You can jump the gun in a custody battle, or jump the gun to quit a job because your boss made you mad.  You can speak out of turn at the wrong time because emotions are so high and jeopardize an opportunity or  a good relationship.
In this life, everyone's prone to making moves too soon , but with God's help and wise counsel, some things can be avoided.  I've also learned that what seems to be the "easier road" to take is not always the right one to take, regardless to what your emotions say. Sometime you have to go through difficulty before you experience "day break". 
I recently received wise counsel from My Mentor & Spiritual Mother, and I feel so blessed because she gave me advise right at a nick of time, before I jumped the gun, and made a rash decision that would not just cost me my peace of mind, but could also jeopardize my livelihood, my job & my son's contentment. 
It's important in this life to have a teachable spirit, and learn to listen to those that God has placed in our lives that are presented as a voice of reason. Sometimes God can give you a simple word of wisdom from a total stranger, and we'll know when it's right, because it will also make logical sense, and bring peace within, causing you too look at things from a clear perspective, and not your emotions.  They'll tell you to slow down, and pace yourself even if it means that you have to face life's difficulties. I believe it's best that way, so you don't find yourself pulling out your hair later.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014


By Patricia McKinney

I remember my childhood like it was yesterday.  How my brother and I used to pretend that we were going up in space, playing hopscotch, jumping double dutch, playing hide and go seek with friends, and watching my favorite cartoons.  Of course everyday was not a bowl of cherries, but we were allowed to be children.  In those days, the word "respect" still existed, and parents would reprimand their children when they were wrong.  We were taught to play together, to share with one another, and we didn't see color, all we knew was the pureness of genuine friendship.

It was still the norm for teenagers to have caring parents that would  hunt them down if they were not  home on time, and the neighbors were sure to tell your parents if they caught you in any mischievous act.  To see a teenagers mouthing off and disrespecting an adult was an atrocity.  If your name was on the list of unruly, rebellious culprits, your  reputation would spread like wildfire among the neighbors, and they'd want their child to avoid you like a plague, out of fear that you'd taint their babies.

It was still normal to see the family unit, and children being loved by their parents. Parent took an interest in their children, it was evident, because children were not hateful, vicious and cruel like they are today.  Good morals and values were still important, but there's been a plummeting decline in good moral ethics, and our children are the evidence that parents have lost their way. Children always act out of their own experience.  If they receive a lot of love, they'll tend to be more calm, settled or inviting.  If they are abused, or their environment is filled with fighting, abusive behavior, condoning perversion and sexual acts, drugs, alcohol, and adult parties (where the child is present), that child is prone to repeat the same behavior of their environment. 

When I was growing up, we didn't have "Toddlers in Tiara's", and Honey Boo Boo's, but now it's normal to see parents prostituting their children to make money.  We didn't see Youtube video's where teens are caught on tape beating each other to a pulp. There were no IPhones, IPads, texting, or sexting on social media.  Our parents and schools made us active, we didn't have the leisure of being couch potatoes, while we sat back thinking the world owed us something.  You didn't hear of childhood sicknesses, cancers and diabetes like you do today. Our children's well being or the lack thereof speaks volume about our parenting and societal influence.

Now its become the norm to see black teenagers killing one another, acting out in hatred, malicious acts of violence and racism.  They've become wicked, with no regard for their lives or anyone else's.  I recently witnessed two teens that murdered a white teenager, because they said, "they were bored"!  This clearly says that parents have utterly failed, but they're also being taught to hate.  Children are not born hating other races, they're taught to do so. It used to be the norm to see the adult expressing racism, not the children! Now they are like animals in the wild, committing heinous crimes, without remorse.  I never imagined the day that we'd see teens acting out like monsters.  This is a sign that there is no love or healthy boundaries in the home, their parents or caregivers are not doing their job.   Not to say that you don't have instances when children go astray, but for children to beat another child or teen without mercy, speaks volume that they witnessed, encountered and have been taught in one way or another to be abusive and are filled with hatred.

Now we witness children that have not even reached adolescence fighting on Youtube.  I witness two five year old black children beating up on a three year old caucasian child and it was promoted by the twelve year old brother, while he filmed it on youtube.  No parents were present on either side.  This was not only abusive but also racist. This child had no one to defend her, and it spoke volume of what goes on in the home. This is also where parents fail, they allow all of their unresolved inner issues, left unchecked to boil over into their child. It's not the responsibility of society or state and governmental leadership to raise our children. Speaking of leadership, our own black leadership has failed and they've also been guilty of using black issues to keep them in leadership, while they show that they are racially imbalanced because they won't speak out about black on black crimes, or crimes committed by blacks against whites.  

I see that adult racism, their hatred, and unchecked issues are flowing down to the children, and it's not among just one race of people, but blacks are teaching there children these behaviors also.  If it were not so, you would not see such acts. Parents have it all wrong and have lost the meaning of what it is to be a parent. Children were given to us to love and care for. They were given to us to be a blessing, to carry on our family heritage, and be contributors to the future of our nation, not to abuse or use as pawns in our own selfish schemes, or to dump our problems on.

Parent's, you have got to wake up, and deal with your own issues. You have got to recognize your own flaws and work to correct them. The only way to really do this is by seeking God in prayer as well as getting counsel, and work to correct yourself first.  You must realize that whatever you do, has a direct impact on your children. You're not only harming them, but you leave the lives of innocent bystanders in harms way also, and people in society are entitled to protect themselves against this kind of behavior.