By Keesah Pelzer
Parenting children in the times we're living in are totally different from when I was coming up, which was honestly not that long ago.
Today I see more parents being a friend to their children, as apposed to being a real mother or father.They're in the clubs with them, fighting with them, selling drugs, stealing, drinking, smoking, and even introducing them to the dark side. These kids have no respect for their parents, let alone any other adult for that matter, and the parents wonder why they can't get through to them.
Some may say that its an awesome thing for a parent to indulge in those type of activities with their child, but to me that's a dangerous move. How can we be taken seriously if we display juvenile characteristics? And what type of morals would we be teaching them by trying to prove that we're the cool parent?
I myself can't imagine doing those type of things with my own children, because there is a level of respect that I request from my girls, even as a young mother, and even as them being small kids. We don't have to be in the "friend zone" in order for our children to like us. They need us to be parents, raise them the right way, and teach them right from wrong, but its impossible to do so if we're on the same level as them mentally. Someone has to be the adult.
When it comes to my spiritual parents, the same rules apply, and those rules were established at the gate, from the very second I got to the ministry. It was made clear by Mrs. McKinney that she is not our "home girl". We're not best buds, and we can't approach her any type of way, and the same with Mr. McKinney, he is our spiritual father, and anything else that is deemed disorderly, is not permissible.
Before I really understood what it meant to be an effective parent, I used to always say that when I have children, where going to be best friends and we're going to do everything under the sun together! But when I became one, God had to show me exactly what my girls needed from me. They needed structure, stability, and guidance. At first, I didn't have that myself to give, so I had to be taught in order for me to pass it down to them, and I'm still learning. All children need love, not someone to amp them up when they hear a song by Drake on the radio, or for us to engage in inappropriate conversations with them.
We all want our children to be able to come to us and talk about anything, and there's nothing wrong with hanging out with your children, and even goofing off with them, but in order for us to be effective, we must be taught the right way to raise our children, and establishing parental boundaries is at the top of the list.